Redditors Suspect That This Husband Is Abusing His Pregnant Wife After Relocating Their Family To An Isolated Farm In Kansas
Compromise is a big part of relationships. Meeting each other halfway without sacrificing any of your boundaries is a learned part of a healthy relationship.
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OP had to agree to her husband's plan of moving back to his home state despite not wanting to. Her husband John recently lost his father and he as well as his mom, inherited the large farm in Kansas.
The recently married couple lived in New Orleans where they originally met. They met while John was in university and OP was working at a restaurant.
They had a quick relationship and John ended up proposing quickly. OP is currently pregnant with their first child shortly after their wedding.
When John's dad died, he told OP he was thinking of moving back to Kansas to help his mom take care of their farm. He said it will also be better for their kid to be raised there and while OP didn't like it, she agreed because she knew how much the move meant to John.
OP was surprised by how large and isolated the farm was when they finally got there. They also only had two cars to share among three of them which was a problem for OP since she wanted to go to the nearby town to look for a job.
When she told her husband about her job hunting intentions, John told her it was a bad idea. He said it wouldn't be practical since they only had two cars and he & his mom needed both cars for their jobs.
OP didn't like his answer but knew that John's reasoning made sense
OP began looking for online jobs instead which wouldn't require her to drive anywhere. She told John about her news and asked if they could look for a better internet provider because their current connection was too unstable for her plans.
John told OP that all online jobs are just scams and he didn't want OP to fall for their tactics. He also said he needed their laptop all the time to reach out to his customers.
OP got upset but kept her mouth shut because John was the current breadwinner for all three of them. When they had a small family gathering, OP's hesitation to become a stay-at-home mom was brought up by her sisters-in-law.
OP explained her side of the situation but they told her she should think of her family first. They also said all of the kids in their family were raised by stay-at-home moms and OP should just go along with it to make everyone happy.
The expecting mom said she would get bored if she didn't have a job and she wanted to help John support their family. Her sisters-in-law kept saying OP should just listen to her husband.
After the party, OP and John had their first big fight as a married couple. He said OP embarrassed him in front of his family.
John said he couldn't believe how heartless OP was being. He said it was obvious that OP didn't care enough about their future son to stay at home and raise him.
He said OP was being an a**hole and said it would be better if OP slept in the guest room for a few nights. They haven't had a conversation since that night but John's mom approached OP to tell her how much OP hurt her son.
She said OP's unwillingness to be a stay-at-home mom was bringing shame to John. Apparently, OP wanting a job meant that she didn't believe in John's ability to support their family.
OP is beginning to doubt whether she was justified in wanting a job. Everyone telling her that she's wrong and heartless has been making her question her own priorities.
You can read OP's original story as posted on Reddit below:
OP's relationship is like a how-to guide for abusers
OP doesn't have her own support network in Kansas and I have a feeling that this was very intentional
He has made sure OP has no way out of the farm
It would be easier for OP to leave now before their baby is born
Someone had this sage advice to give to OP
If OP can't leave yet, she has to make sure her opinions are valued
OP is walking on a tightrope and we hope for her and her baby's sake that she gets out safely
OP is just 21 years old while her husband is 25. He swept her off her feet and rushed the relationship for a reason.
OP shouldn't waste more time trying to keep the peace because the situation honestly sounds dangerous
OP didn't even want to move but she didn't say anything because she knew how much the move meant to John
They are successfully making OP feel crazy when she only wants to have a job
This is a very important bit of information...
... OP should leave Kansas before she gives birth because she would have a lot more problems if she waits
Every choice John has forced on OP so far has been a red flag
I cannot stress enough just how fast OP has to leave that farm for her and her baby's sake
Run far and run fast, OP
Dishonor on all of their cows!
OP's account has since been deleted or suspended by Reddit. We have no updates as to how she acted after reading all of the Reddit comments telling her to leave the farm as soon as possible.
Reddit is not the answer key to all of life's troubling issues but the helpful users are good at sussing out dangerous situations. We have to wait for OP's future update if any, on how things turned out.