Teen Longs To Reconnect With Step-Mother, Her "True Parent" Figure, But Fears Hurting Biological Mother

" I really felt like she was my mom when I was little. "

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• February 29, 2024

Families can be complicated, filled with ups and downs, and sometimes, people who aren't related by blood end up being the ones we feel closest to. This story is about a girl caught between her love for her stepmom, who was like a real mom during tough times, and her feelings for her biological mom, who's had her own set of problems.

The journey starts with a tough childhood, with a mom struggling with drugs and a dad who wasn't around much. When OP was just four, she was taken to live with her dad, entering a new chapter of her life.

Her stepmom was awesome—kind, caring, and always there for her, making her life a lot brighter. She was the mom she needed, giving her love, attention, and a happy home.

But things weren't perfect. OP's dad was mean to the stepmom and one day, she had enough and left, taking OP's half-siblings with her. This left a big hole in her heart, missing her every day.

Moving back with her mom didn't help, as she didn't want to hear anything about the stepmom and tried to make her forget those years. Finding her stepmom on Facebook years later stirred up all those feelings again.

She hadn't forgotten them, posting birthday wishes every year. The longing to reach out, to see her and her siblings again, is strong, but she is worried about how her mom will react.

OP's childhood is marked by parental separation, mom's drug addiction, and neglect, her dad remarried, and her mom's boyfriend was abusive.

OP's mom took OP's older brother to her Dad's, but left OP behind, CPS later took OP to her Dad's when she was 4 and OP didn't see her mom again until 7 years later.

OP's stepmom was like a second mom to her, she was affectionate, always present, and willing to do things with OP.

OP's dad and stepmom had two kids, OP adored them and her stepmom allowed her to assist with their care, OP lived comfortably in a beautiful home.

OP witnessed her father's abusive behavior towards her stepmother, including yelling, name-calling, and physical violence.

One morning, she disappeared, taking the babies, and living with the dad became tough—he turned to drugs and eventually returned them to their Mom.

OP's mom harbors deep resentment towards stepmom, and falsely accuses stepmom of abuse, possibly due to jealousy and feelings of loss.

OP has a decent relationship with her mom, but she often longs for her stepmom, which makes her feel conflicted.

OP found her stepmom on Facebook, she seems happy, and still posts old pictures of OP and her brother on their birthdays, expressing how much she misses them.

OP wants to talk to her and see her siblings but is worried about how her mom will react.

Her stepmom positively influenced OP.

OP should communicate directly with her step-mom instead of depending on her brother.

OP needs to consider contacting her with a message.

Her stepmother still cares for her.

OP's mom seems tough to handle, and connecting with her stepmom might ease OP's burden.

Maybe OP could make a secret Facebook account.

OP should reach out to her stepmom without informing her biological mom or brother.

OP needs to reach out to her former stepmom, she deserves a loving parent.

OP could reach out to her discreetly, perhaps through a new email or a friend's social media account, to avoid detection by her mother.

OP's stepmom's love for her is genuine, and reconnecting with her could bring happiness to both of them.

OP should prioritize genuine care and support over biological ties.

OP's stepmom had a big positive impact on her life, being there for her when things were tough. Instead of asking her brother to talk to the stepmom for her, OP should consider reaching out directly. It's clear the stepmom still cares since OP sends birthday wishes every year.

Since dealing with her biological mom can be hard, reconnecting with her stepmom might help. OP could try secretly messaging her stepmom, like making a new Facebook account or asking a friend to help, to avoid causing any trouble.

Ultimately, choosing genuine care and support over those who are related by blood could lead to a happier relationship for both OP and her stepmom.

Damjan