30 Deeply Hurtful Comments From Parents That Left A Lasting Impact, Shared Online

"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• May 25, 2023

Throughout our childhood, our parents often serve as our role models and heroes. We look up to them, seeking their opinion and reassurance above all else. As we grow older, however, our perspective shifts, and we begin to see our parents as flawed individuals, realizing that they may not be as perfect as we once believed.

Regrettably, even if our childhood memories may be hazy, hurtful words spoken by our parents can leave a lasting impact. A passing remark made by them has the power to shape how we perceive ourselves and can even deter us from pursuing our passions. Tragically, many of these hurtful experiences from our pasts continue to influence us well into adulthood.

In an online community, individuals have come together to share their not-so-pleasant memories, words uttered by their parents that have remained stuck in their heads to this day. These stories serve as a poignant reminder of the lasting effects such comments can have. Here, we present you with a compilation of 41 such accounts, hoping that none of them resonate with your own experiences.

As we reflect on these stories, it becomes clear that the words spoken by our parents intended or not, possess immense power. They can shape our self-perception, influencing our choices, and impacting our lives for years to come. Parents must be mindful of their words and the potential long-term consequences they may hold.

Not all parents are loving

1. Mother's cruel words severed our bond

My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbour. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years

2. The pain of being told "You can't even laugh right" by a loved one

"you can't even laugh right"

My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong

3. Dad's surprising criticism

My dad, very recently, told me (33F) that "I don't have a career and that I was only hired as a charity case". The hardest part is that my dad is normally really supportive and kind and this was not said in anger.

I am a project mgr at a real estate development company that my FIL owns. I have a university degree in a related field (landscape architecture and urban planning) & project mgmt experience from a previous job. I never planned on working for my FIL.

I am getting paid about 1/2 of what I could be making if I worked for another company.

I am sticking it out because my husband and his brothers deserve to inherit the company (their dad uses the inheritance as a way to control them and they have put in so, so much free labour despite never being paid by the company & working FT in completely separate careers). I'm worried my FILs semi-recent drinking habit, mixed with his unrelenting narcissism is going to lead to him squandering the business so I'm staying to keep tabs on it.

I know no one is going to read this. It still feels good to get off my chest.

4. Proving success beyond expectations

I asked my parents why they gave my sister a lot of money for college and not me. My dad said, "we never thought you could finish."

I have a doctorate now and no student loans ever.

5. Mother's hurtful response to an assault

My mother said lots of things like that. I'll just talk about one of the most memorable. While I went to go inside the the corner store, she stayed behind in the car. Outside the store was a kid that had a crush on me.

He grabbed my a*s and I b***hed him out. My mother saw all this. In the following days and weeks she basically accused me of being a s**t, implying that I somehow invited it. She tried convincing my father of this, told her coworkers about it, everything except being a mom infuriated that someone touched their daughter like that.

6. A Mother's weight comment that echoes forever

“You’re not skinny.”

My mom when I mentioned wanting to dress as Elle Woods for Halloween when I was 10. Yeah, I was overweight as a kid but that sure as hell didn’t motive me. To this day, whenever I see an outfit I’d love to wear, I hear that line in my head. Parents, that s**t doesn’t go away over time. Your kids just learn to put it in the backs of their minds but hear you me, they still remember.

7. Conquering the fear of becoming an abusive parent

She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day.

Edit: Thank you to everyone who shared their own stories. It's good to know I'm not alone. Also, to the people suggesting I had previous partners I would actually abuse, I can understand the wording could have been better but how dare you.

8. Devastating criticism

“You’re so annoying.” Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything.

9. The lasting impact of a hurtful comment on a young poet's self-expression

In 7th grade, I was learning how to write better poetry thanks to an awesome teacher. I was so proud of a collection I made, so I let my mom read it. She asked me, “Do you need to be put in a mental asylum?” I was so upset and as I was growing up, I didn’t share any of my art with people, regardless of the medium. Even now, I still hear how serious she was when she asked me that.

10. "What did I do to deserve a fat kid."

11. Heartbreaking response to grieving child's expression of loss

Not me, but a friend after her dad had died. She told her mom that she missed her daddy; I say daddy because she was roughly 8 at the time. "You miss him so much? If you ever say that to me again I swear I'll chain you to his gravestone!"

12. A teen's battle with depression met with cruelty

When I was 14, and struggling with depression. "You're just a psychopath who will die alone cause nobody will ever love you"

13. Hurtful words and broken expectations

There are so many things I really don’t remember most of them…

Once my stepmom called me a lying sneaking little s**t bc she thought I stole her melatonin, when she just used it all and forgot ab it.

But the thing that I think about a lot is my dad once when I was like 10-12. I don’t remember what it was about, I just remember him poking me in the chest with enough force to knock me down, he said “you’re such a piece of s**t, I can’t wait until I get to kick you out” and spat in my face as I was laying on the ground.

That was the man who was supposed to be Superman to me. I was supposed to sit on his shoulders to see a parade or something.

14. A Mother's hurtful ccomment ignites drive and resilience

Mom was talking to dad about me while I was right there. I was bullied in high school and it had an effect on my grades. While discussing my education she said: “Look at him. Can’t you see there’s nothing in there? Just look at how he sits there. He can’t do this. He’s not capable of more. This is it. He’s nothing.” It gave me a drive and motivation. It also gave me a constant need to prove myself.

EDIT: I never imagined this to get so much replies. For the people wondering: this happened almost 20 years ago and I have now found peace with what she said. My mom has a lot of mental issues but she tries her best. She’s made a lot of progress and is still working on battling her inner demons. And in the end: she has since done a lot more good than bad to me. I will never forget what she said but I no longer hold it against her. People shouldn’t always be reduced to their worst moment.

15. Crushed dreams

16. Impactful childhood words

When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said “If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat” Never forgot it. Talked to her a about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from “That never happened” to “oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever” and finally “yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that”

Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was “[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.” I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung.

17. Painful self-worth shattered by parent's cruelty

I’m a waste of sperm apparently. Not sure what else they’re doing with their sperm but.. ok.

18. A parental voice silencing emotions

19. Father's mathematical prowess shatters my confidence

My father is very good at maths. Especially at doing it in his head. I always was self-conscious about that. One hike in the mountains he gave me a math problem and I went totally blank, tried to frantically solve it in my head but couldn't. Finally he said "You once were intelligent, that's long gone." starting a monologue about how dumb I am.

I was 13 at the time.

In my end thirties we had a chat about chemistry, which I excelled in at school. That led to other subjects and it turned out, he wasn't really good in any subject we shared, except math. I was in most - except math.

20. Unforgettable childhood remark

I was probably 14, it was ‘97 or ‘98, and I was walking up the stairs one afternoon. My dad was on the landing, looked at me, paused and said “your forehead. It’s ‘gettin zitty with it.’”

I’ve told him about how it’s something I still think about now that I’m an adult. He has zero recollection of something I remember so vividly.

The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.

21. Healing from hurtful labels and finding my voice

22. Pain of loneliness

I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was "if you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror".

23. Devastating herpes diagnosis met with judgement from mormon parents

Through an unfortunate event, I contracted herpes right before I went home on Spring Break. I was naïve and had no sex ed so I didn't know what was going on and I was super sick with a 104.5°F fever. I had to tell my parents. My mom called me a whore. Will never forget that. Thanks mom.

Note: they're mormon 

24. Betrayed by my own mother

My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me

25. “You will never amount to anything in life”

26. “Don’t be so sensitive.”

27. A mother's blunt revelation leaves siblings disheartened

Not really an insult:

My brothers and sister lived out in Utah, we are live outside of Cincinnati. My mom, dad and myself drove to Utah because my sister was getting married.

The first night of being settled in, we went out to dinner with my older brother's fiance and her family. My oldest brother was there with his wife, and my sister was there with her fiance. Again, we were there for my sister, yet the first night we were there, going to dinner with my older brother and his soon to be wife and in-laws took priority.

We are sitting at this restaurant, and my mom straight up blurted out my older brother is her favorite child. My oldest brother, my sister and I just looked at each other just like slowly nodding going like ... "No s**t, mom. We know. Doesn't make it okay for you to say it out loud, though."

28. Finding humor in the pain

My sister won a ton of toddler and baby beauty pageants. My dad for awhile didn’t believe I was his daughter.

He told me I wasn’t pretty enough to be his daughter. Well jokes on you dad, we look just alike. My younger sister and I do too lolll,

Killed my self esteem, but I think it’s kinda of funny now.

29. Criticism

"Don't be so simple"

"Do you think that looks good?"

"You're a slob"

"You're lazy"

"Stop, you are doing it wrong. Just go away"

"You lack motivation"

"You're wasting your potential"

30. Lingering memories of hurtful comments from parents

"You sound like a pig under a gate." I was ~10 and working to expand my vocal range. To this day, I stop singing when others are around

The one that lives rent free though is, "now, find someone else to take care of you." Thanks for the help, I guess.

The heartfelt stories shared by individuals in the online community serve as a powerful reminder of the deep emotional impact that hurtful words from parents can have. These accounts highlight the need for empathy, understanding, and open communication within families.

By recognizing the immense power of their words and cultivating a loving and supportive environment, parents can humanize their interactions and positively shape their children's self-esteem and resilience. It is essential to remember that behind every story lies a person with unique experiences and emotions, and by being mindful of our words, we can foster an atmosphere of acceptance, encouragement, and growth.

Let us strive to humanize our connections, nurture meaningful relationships, and uplift one another, creating a world where the wounds of hurtful words can be healed with kindness, compassion, and understanding.

Damjan