Wife Encounters Imbalanced Division Of Household Responsibilities As High-Earning Husband Avoids Household Tasks

"I know his job is really hard but he never works as much time as I."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• November 20, 2023

Dealing with uneven workloads at home when one partner earns more is a problem many people face. This is exactly what's happening in a Reddit story.

OP of this story is a woman who works in theater and does a bunch of different jobs, like programming show lights and working at a computer science museum. She’s really busy and good at what she does but doesn’t earn a lot of money.

Her husband is a coder and makes way more than she does. Even though he earns more, he doesn’t help much around the house.

He spends a lot of time playing video games with his friends, and hardly ever does chores like cleaning or washing dishes. Every time she asks him to help more with the chores, he responds by saying he's the one bringing in most of the money.

He even wanted her to quit her job to paint their apartment during a renovation because he was paying for it. Now, OP’s trying to learn how to code too, hoping to earn more and feel more equal in their relationship. Her husband told her she could stop working because he earns enough, but she knows that means she’ll end up doing all the housework, and she doesn’t want that.

OP is frustrated and sad about this situation and is asking for advice. She wants to know if she should be the one doing all the housework just because her husband earns more and pays most of the bills.

The thing is, apart from this issue, she says he's a nice guy. She's just really stuck on this and doesn't know what to do.

OP is a theatre educator and lighting programmer facing low-paying freelance work. Her husband is a well-paid coder, doesn't help with household chores, and prefers video games.

OP is learning to code to achieve equality in her relationship and avoid becoming a housewife

OP is wondering if she should be the only one doing the housework just because her husband makes more money than her .

OP deserves respect, even if she is not working.

The absence of negotiation can lead to an unbalanced dynamic, potentially resulting in one person feeling like a "housekeeper-with-benefits."

He's treating OP unfairly

Household chores should be divided based on time and not solely on income.

He should appreciate OP's work, as it reflects her value.

In a fair financial partnership, both partners should contribute equally to both household and professional responsibilities.

This behavior raising concerns about respect and equality in their marriage.

His income shouldn't excuse him from responsibilities in a shared home.

Household responsibilities should not be determined by income.

This behavior is abusive.

OP should not tolerate being further manipulated.

It's not okay for OP to be treated unfairly by her husband. In a good relationship, both partners should share responsibilities and show respect for each other. It's not right for one person to do all the housework and work hard while the other person plays video games and earns more money without helping out.

OP should be allowed to follow her interests, like learning to code, without feeling like she has to do all the household chores just because her husband earns more. They need to talk openly and honestly with each other to figure out a fair way to split the chores and financial responsibilities.

Damjan