OP is a theatre educator and lighting programmer facing low-paying freelance work. Her husband is a well-paid coder, doesn't help with household chores, and prefers video games.
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OP is learning to code to achieve equality in her relationship and avoid becoming a housewife
OP is wondering if she should be the only one doing the housework just because her husband makes more money than her .
OP deserves respect, even if she is not working.
The absence of negotiation can lead to an unbalanced dynamic, potentially resulting in one person feeling like a "housekeeper-with-benefits."
He's treating OP unfairly
Household chores should be divided based on time and not solely on income.
He should appreciate OP's work, as it reflects her value.
In a fair financial partnership, both partners should contribute equally to both household and professional responsibilities.
This behavior raising concerns about respect and equality in their marriage.
His income shouldn't excuse him from responsibilities in a shared home.
Household responsibilities should not be determined by income.
This behavior is abusive.
OP should not tolerate being further manipulated.
It's not okay for OP to be treated unfairly by her husband. In a good relationship, both partners should share responsibilities and show respect for each other. It's not right for one person to do all the housework and work hard while the other person plays video games and earns more money without helping out.
OP should be allowed to follow her interests, like learning to code, without feeling like she has to do all the household chores just because her husband earns more. They need to talk openly and honestly with each other to figure out a fair way to split the chores and financial responsibilities.