Woman Wants Partner's Homeless Friend To Leave After He Turned Abusive And Disrespectful, Triggering Her PTSD And Autism

"He's making me being at home difficult with his constant snide comments, mess, loud swearing-heavy music."

Sophia

• Published in Interesting
• October 22, 2023

In the confined space of a small home, OP (34f) shares her living space with her partner (45m) and their child (8), extending a compassionate hand to their friend, S (35m), who fled an abusive relationship. Initially, the arrangement seemed amicable, a temporary haven for someone in need. However, as the days passed, a stark transformation overtook S.

His behavior shifted from gratitude to hostility, specifically targeting OP's beliefs, gender, and sexuality. This, coupled with his lack of regard for basic hygiene and household cleanliness, led to a chaotic environment.

For OP, who battles PTSD stemming from traumatic birth experiences and navigates the world through the lens of autism, this upheaval became unbearable. Her safe spaces were compromised, and her coping mechanisms shattered.

The living room, where she engaged in soothing crafts and late-night conversations with understanding friends, became inaccessible after 9 PM due to S's presence.

The situation reached a breaking point, forcing OP to confront the painful reality: the very refuge she had extended was now jeopardizing her mental health. The decision to ask S to leave, while seemingly harsh, was a desperate attempt at self-preservation.

The internal struggle between empathy and self-care underscored the complexities of kindness, boundaries, and mental well-being within the context of shared living spaces. It became a poignant exploration of the delicate balance between extending a helping hand and safeguarding one's peace and sanity.

Just take a look at the original post...

OP, her partner, and their child offered their friend "S" a place to stay after he left an abusive relationship. Despite finding a job, "S" still hasn't secured a permanent home.

"S" turned hostile over differences, so they were asked to leave, and he found another safe place to stay.

"S" asked to return after a night on the street, but soon broke the rules and disrupted the house.

Dealing with PTSD and sensory overload related to a traumatic birth, OP's coping mechanisms have been disrupted by "S," who sleeps on their couch, preventing them from accessing their craft supplies and quieting their mind.

"S" is causing problems at home with his behavior and not sharing household expenses.

Severe mental health issues are causing distress, and efforts to discuss concerns with the partner and "S" have been unproductive.

Is it fair to ask "S" to leave, even if it means potential homelessness for him, in order to protect their own mental health and manage their PTSD?

Scroll down to see what people had to say!

Her partner should be playing bouncer, not bystander. In her home, it's her rules, and "S" should learn that the hard way!

She sincerely appreciates the insight, and it's nice to find a nugget of wisdom in the digital realm.

A partner who doesn't have their back is like a phone with no signal—not much use when needed.

It's not just "NTA"; it's a partner problem too. Time to kick that disrespectful friend to the curb and have a chat with the partner about having her back!

"S" has a job and options, but his behavior suggests he might have been the toxic one in past relationships.

"S" is causing significant distress, and he's quite the rude houseguest.

Her kindness is wearing thin, and her partner's loyalty is off track. It's time for this guy to hit the road and her partner to wise up!

Seems like "S" may have been the toxic one in his past relationship.

S's toxic relationship claim is suspect. The real issue is her partner's acceptance of the chaos; S can find another doorstep if he's homeless.

It's time for him to hit the road. No one should endure suffering for someone who doesn't respect them or their home.

Spot on - NTA! If he's breaking the rules he committed to, it's time for him to pack his bags.

Her partner's letting her down, and their friend needs to deal with his own mess, not create one in her home. It's her life, not a rescue mission.

Her partner should be her support system, not the source of trouble.

Therapy can be a game-changer, as the family's experience shows. It's a positive cycle worth starting for her daughter's well-being.

In the clash between compassion and self-preservation, OP's story highlights the emotional toll of boundary-setting. Despite the initial goodwill, the struggle for mental well-being became paramount.

This experience serves as a powerful reminder that empathy, while noble, must harmonize with personal boundaries for genuine kindness to thrive.

Comment down your thoughts, or share this article for all your family and friends to see!

Sophia