Viral Thread By Twitter User Explains How A Muggle Would Not Be Having A Good Time In The Harry Potter Universe

I would've gotten suspended from Hogwarts. Repeatedly. And possibly expelled.

"Miss McKinney, what's that in your hand?"

"A pen."

"Where's your quill?"

"I don't have one."

"Why not?"

"Because it's 1991."

"......ten points from Gryffindor."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 4, 2019

"Miss McKinney, what's that in your hand?"

"A flashlight."

"Where's your lantern?"

"Do you hear yourself?"

".....15 points from Gryffindor."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 4, 2019

*sigh* "Miss McKinney..."

"Sir?"

"What's that in your hand?"

"A spiral notebook."

"Where's your parchment?"

"....what is parchment?"

*siiiiiiiiigh*

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 4, 2019

"............................Miss McKinney."

"Yes'm?"

"What's that in your hand?"

"....you never seen a backpack before?"

"Go to the headmaster's office!!!"

"I'm just surprised, y'all got three headed dogs and flying Swiffers, but a backpack throws you off."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 4, 2019

"Miss McKinney."

"Mmm?"

"You're late."

"I know."

"That's the 2nd time this week, and the 5th time this month."

"Well, maybe if y'all let a girl have a hair dryer, I wouldn't have to sit by the fire for 2 hours. I'm not walking around Castle Dracula with a wet head."

"....."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 4, 2019

"Miss McKinney."

"What?"

"A number of students claim to witness you pouring some sort of potion over your meals. I'm certain you don't have permission for whatever it is."

"Huh??"

"A red potion?"

"Oh, that's hot sauce. All this magic and y'all can't conjure SEASONED food..."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 4, 2019

"Any questions?"

*Raises hand*

"....yes, Miss McKinney?"

"Why come y'all don't use electricity? Or develop a magical equivalent?"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, the muggles put a man on the moon, but y'all still using choo choos and buggies. And I wanna listen to music."

*SIIIIIIGH*

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 4, 2019

"Miss McKinney."

"Uh huh?"

"You didn't finish your homework assignment."

"Which one?"

"For Care of Magical Creatures?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, no, that book got teeth. Not going near that."

"But you--"

"Sharp teeth."

"...30 points from Gryffindor."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 4, 2019

"Miss McKinney."

"Mm?"

"For the last time, PLEASE mount your broom."

"Mmmmmnope."

"Why not?"

"Not about to get me up in the air so I can fall and break my neck. Do you see that broom? Do you see my butt? This is a no win situation."

"Merlin's beard... *exasperated*"

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 4, 2019

"Miss McKinney, do you have any ideas why our letters to your parents continue to return unopened, or not at all?"

"Because my momma said one of them damn birds got one time to shit in her house."

".....I....."

"What? Y'all the ones who haven't managed email."

"Just...go."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 4, 2019

"Miss McKinney, your turn to present on why Muggles Need Electricity."

"Ahem. Ahem. The reason I believe Muggles Need Electricity is because magic sucks at a lot of things."

"Get out...."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 4, 2019

"Miss McKinney."

"Uh huh?"

"You've decided to drop Divination?"

"That's right."

"Can I ask why?"

"I don't mess with the spirits."

"What?"

"Noooo. No sir. I leave that to the professionals."

"That's not--"

"Not gone have the ancestors mad at ME over a pop quiz."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 6, 2019

"Miss McKinney!"

"Hi!"

"Where on earth have you been!? You were gone for three weeks!"

"Oh, yeah, I went home."

"What!?"

"Y'all had dementors up in here, so my mom said meet her at Hogsmeade and we bounced. She's waiting in your office, by the way."

"................."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 6, 2019

"Miss McKinney, please join your classmates in the greenhouse."

"Oh, no sir. Can't do that."

"And why not?"

"Y'all got plants that eat you, squeeze you, beat the mess outta you, and kill you if you hear them scream. I'm good, Seymore."

"What??"

"Nothing."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 6, 2019

"You had a question, Miss McKinney?"

"Why didn't they arrest all the Death Eaters?"

"Some claimed to have been mind controlled."

"How you know they not lying?"

"It's...complicated."

"Well, I was mind controlled when I failed that test."

"I doubt-"

"Where am I? Who're you?"

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 6, 2019

"Any questions?"

*Raises hand*

"Yes, Miss McKinney?"

"How many times can you cast that spell before a long rest?"

"You...don't need to rest in order to cast it."

"So it's a cantrip!"

"..."

"But is it an action or a bonus action?"

"Why are you like this?"

"Insight check."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 6, 2019

"Miss McKinney, what's that in your hand?"

"Fire extinguisher."

"Goodness, whatever for?"

"If the candles get too close."

"Too close? To what?"

"Me."

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 6, 2019

"Miss McKinney. While the incident in question is not use of a true unforgivable, this is not a laughing matter. Do refrain from using the 'spell' in the future."

"What spell?"

"..."

"IDK what you mean."

"..."

"If I had some clarity..."

"...avada kedeeze nuts."

"AHAHAHA!!"

— LL McKinney (@ElleOnWords) January 7, 2019