30 Hilarious Insults To Up Your "Debating" Game

"You've only got 2 brain cells and they are both fighting for 3rd place."

Damjan

• Published in Funny
• June 30, 2022

We all grew up knowing that calling someone names or using derogatory language was unacceptable. However, sometimes you have no choice - you simply have to insult someone.

People often act like idiots and the only way to defend yourself is to use insults. But how you do it is what separates you from the crowd.

Sure, anyone can spew out curses and nasty names, and it is just distasteful. But insulting someone while still showing some class and manners... now, that's art.

So, we have searched the internet to find the withiest and funniest insults that may not contribute much to the debate you are having, but will surely make you feel superior. Take a look at our list, and choose your favorites.

Try them out in your next argument, and see what happens. Just a small disclaimer - if you get beaten, it is not our fault.

Remember - we are not advising you to use them, we are simply listing the options:). On the other hand, some of these insults require a certain level of intelligence to understand.

That means that there is a high probability that people won't even understand you. So, let's dive in:

1. This hurts:

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.

2. Two faces

Don’t you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning?

3. Describing

I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.

4. Ouch

May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.

5. Two wrongs...

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

6. Never

I’m glad to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance.

7. Find brain

Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.

8. Poor parents

Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.

9. Happiness

I get so emotional when you're not around. That emotion is happiness.

10. My business

I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.

11. Littering

You are so ugly that when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering.

12. Low

You are the human version of period cramps.

13. The fight is on

You've only got 2 brain cells and they are both fighting for 3rd place.

14. Jealousy

I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you.

15. Therapist

I told my therapist about you.

16. Your brain could melt

Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?

17. Nope

You couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

18. A twisted sense of humor...

You are proof God has a sense of humor.

19. No

I bet your mom doesn’t put your coloring pages on the fridge.

20. Take out the trash

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

21. That much?

You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

22. So sad

Oh, you don’t like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck.

23. Inspiration

You're so ugly even Stephen King has nightmares about you.

24. Insulting stupid people

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

25. Accidents

You must have been born on a highway. That’s where most accidents happen.

26. What is your name?

Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.

27. Kids

If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.

28. Oh

Yeah? Well, you smell like hot dog water.

29. Love your hair

I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?

30. Just what everyone needs...

You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

Our brains can sometimes wander to some pretty dark areas when we're upset. And we hope we are helping you blow off some steam with these beauties.

The next time someone annoys you, use our list of clever roasts and comebacks. There is something on this list for every occasion, whether you have to deal with children who simply won't put their trash away or need an office joke for that annoying coworker.

Repeat as often as necessary.

Damjan