Compassionate Woman Torn Between Helping Her Friend With Frequent Rides To Work And Feeling Exploited, Fears He Will Lose His Job

"This guy refuses to take an Uber."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• December 11, 2023

In everyday life, the lines between kindness and exploitation often blur. It's a common dilemma: how far should one go to help a friend in need, especially when that need becomes a recurring demand?

This is the story of a 20-year-old woman grappling with this very issue. OP started by generously offering rides to her 22-year-old friend.

He had a license but no truck, and his reliance on her escalated quickly. His father sometimes lent him a vehicle, but when not, he turned to her or another mutual friend.

The routine became grating, involving 50-60 mile daily trips, severely disrupting her life. The situation intensified when the friend and his girlfriend began spamming calls, pressuring them into providing rides, regardless of their plans or commitments.

Her friend's lack of initiative to seek alternative transport options, like Uber, added to her frustration. His irresponsible attitude was costing him, evidenced by his job attendance issues.

Meanwhile, OP, a remote worker, found her goodwill stretched thin. She considered stopping the rides, fearing the repercussions on his job.

Yet, the toll on her and the realization of being exploited led her to question her role in enabling his irresponsibility. The Reddit community's overwhelming support helped her see the toxicity in this dynamic. She learned he stopped contributing to gas expenses, his girlfriend lost her job due to similar transport issues, and their mutual friend, despite being similarly exploited, was reluctant to cease the favors.

OP has been giving her friend rides to work for a few months, he has a license but no truck of his own, and he relies on others for rides

OP is thankful for support in recognizing a toxic friendship and plans to set boundaries.

OP is not his chauffeur, and it could impact her work.

He's benefiting from OP's rides without considering her time and effort.

It's unreasonable to expect anyone, be it a partner or friend, to provide constant transportation.

If he faces consequences at work, it's on him to take responsibility as an adult.

OP is not in the wrong, especially considering he doesn't contribute to fuel expenses

His behavior is disrespectful and he is treating OP like an unpaid servant.

It's not OP's problem, and she shouldn't be responsible for his commute.

It seems like he's exploiting OP's kindness.

OP should block their calls temporarily if necessary, and continue this until they respect her boundaries.

OP's friend should address his transportation situation to ensure it's reliable for work without relying on OP.

It's fair to say that OP did nothing wrong. At first, she was kind and gave her friend rides, which was nice. But things got out of hand when her friend kept asking for rides all the time, even when it was inconvenient for OP.

What made it even less fair was that the friend didn't help pay for gas. Imagine someone always asking you for a ride but never offering to chip in for the cost. That's not cool.

It's okay to help friends, but it's not okay for them to take advantage and expect you to be their chauffeur all the time without giving anything back. In a good friendship, both people should respect each other's needs and boundaries.

OP shouldn't feel bad or guilty about her decision. If her friend ends up getting fired because of his actions or irresponsibility, that's not on OP.

Everyone is responsible for their own choices and actions, and it's not fair for OP to bear the burden of her friend's job problems.

Damjan