Redditor Asks For Advice On How To Handle Her Difficult MIL At Her Husband's Grandmother's Funeral

"Emotions are running deep, and misunderstandings can easily happen."

Stephanie

• Published in Interesting
• September 7, 2023

It goes without saying that when someone we love passes away, it's a difficult time for all involved. But when there is already drama within the family, things can be even trickier to navigate.

Reddit user u/Aggravating_Salt4492 recently shared a story in the r/justnomil subreddit about a dilemma she's having after the passing of her husband's grandmother. The OP explained that she has no contact with her MIL due to various conflicts over the years.

The Redditor's husband still has some contact with his mother but none with his sister due to the issues between the OP and his mom. For the grandmother's funeral, OP's MIL made arrangements for a funeral car to transport some of the immediate family to the service.

The OP is not welcome in the car, so she can either drive herself and their BIL in a separate car, or she can drive herself while BIL goes in the family car. However, either way, the OP won't be able to join the rest of the family at the front of the church for the service.

So, the OP asked her husband why he couldn't just go in a separate car with her, and he immediately started crying and saying he shouldn't have to deal with this after his grandmother just died. So the OP told him it's his choice what he does, but she's annoyed that he isn't concerned about her feelings.

Now, the OP is wondering what she should do, and she asked the Reddit community for their input. "What would you do?" she asked.

Go to the funeral with DH in the 2nd car, sit a few rows back from the front in the church. Ignore MIL all along.

DH go with them and sit with them. Just drive myself there, enter the church last minute and leave immediately after.

Not go at all to give him the easy choice.

The Redditor says her preference would be option one because she would still like the opportunity to attend the funeral and pay her respects. But she's also upset because she feels that her husband is prioritizing his family over her.

In a later edit, the OP said she is leaning more toward not attending the funeral at all since it's the only sure way to guarantee no drama. Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The OP asked for advice on how to handle her husband's grandmother's funeral.

The OP explained that she has no contact with her MIL due to various conflicts over the years.

For the grandmother's funeral, OP's MIL made arrangements for a funeral car to transport some of the immediate family to the service.

The OP told her husband it's his choice what he does, but she's annoyed that he isn't concerned about her feelings.

Now the OP is wondering what she should do, and she asked the Reddit community for their input.

The Redditor says her preference would be option one because she would still like the opportunity to attend the funeral and pay her respects.

But she's also upset because she feels that her husband is prioritizing his family over her.

So the OP asked the Reddit community for advice.

"This day isn't about you."

"Just ask him what he wants you to do."

"Let him go in the first car and drive yourself."

"Don't make your husband have to pick sides."

"Let go of your anger and be there for your husband."

"You're making it about yourself."

"Actions speak louder than words."

"Go support your husband."

"Go to the funeral."

"It's time for you to support your husband."

"Emotions are running deep, and misunderstandings can easily happen."

"Just follow the family car."

"Remember the grief circles."

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP should stay away from the funeral to avoid drama, or should she be able to attend and pay her respects?

We would love to hear your opinions on this topic. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Stephanie