Man Asks If It Is Wrong To Give His Son's Room To His GF's Son

His son is away at college, and only spends the summers in his home

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• March 23, 2023

Moving away to college is a milestone for any young adult, but it can also be a difficult transition for both the student and their family. And we have one of those stories today.

OP had been dating his girlfriend for 1.5 years before she and her 5-year-old son moved in with him last month. OP has four sons (27, 19, 16, and 13) and a daughter (14).

His house has five bedrooms, with 3 upstairs and one in the basement. The basement bedroom had originally been built for OP's eldest son, but when he moved out, the bedroom went to the next oldest.

When his 19-year-old son went away to college, the 16-year-old had asked for his brother's bedroom, but OP said no, as all the kids had their own rooms upstairs, and he wanted his son to have a space to come back to.

Eventually, his 19-year-old son stayed for most of the summer as he was working nearby and was still dating his high school girlfriend. Realizing his girlfriend had been struggling financially for a long time and was refusing help, OP convinced her to move in with him so she could work towards going back to college.

To accommodate her son, OP gave his 16-year-old the basement bedroom and gave his room to his girlfriend's son. He informed his 19-year-old son of the decision.

Read the full story below:

OP asks:

OP had been dating his girlfriend for 1.5 years before she and her 5-year-old son moved in with him last month. OP has four sons (27, 19, 16, and 13) and a daughter (14)

Realizing his girlfriend had been struggling financially for a long time and was refusing help, OP convinced her to move in with him so she could work towards going back to college

To accommodate her son, OP gave his 16-year-old the basement bedroom and gave his room to his girlfriend's son. He informed his 19-year-old son of the decision.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

As someone who grew up in a small house, this Redditor says:

However, it would be interesting to see what Redditors who grew up in large houses have to say.

Bedrooms are not sacred temples

And now, from the kid's perspective:

Would OP spend a whole summer on a pull out bed in a den?

"Overall, you've done something for the new kid that you didn't do for yours"

"The 19 yr old is at school and doesn't have a permanent home"

A good conversation is needed here

This decision has sparked a controversy, as giving away a college-age child's bedroom is a touchy subject. Not only does it bring up the issue of fairness, but it also forces the child to confront their own growing independence.

OP's 19-year-old son has expressed his hurt and anger through passive-aggressive comments, and OP has tried to reason with him, but to no avail. This raises the question: is OP wrong for giving away his son's bedroom?

Damjan