Anxious GF Wonders How She Can Tell Her BF That Moving In Is Not The Best Idea Because Of His Elderly Dog

She is a Saint Bernard dog that is 30 lbs. heavier than the girlfriend... she can't carry the dog if her legs act up again

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• December 1, 2022

Communication is incredibly important in any relationship. Exchanging ideas, discussing disagreements, and working toward a solution together can only be accomplished if open communication exists.

This is especially true for a long-term romantic relationship. Tackling things and feelings upfront is beneficial and contributes to the longevity of any relationship.

You just have to ready yourself for how the other person will react once you share your side of the story. This is exactly what worries this 29-year-old Redditor.

She and her boyfriend have been together for a year. They are currently discussing moving in together once he finishes his Ph.D. next month.

OP owns the condo she lives in while her BF lives with his parents. What worries OP is she now thinks this is not the best idea.

Her BF has a 10-year-old Saint Bernard dog who got a health scare while they were out of town. She couldn't walk up the stairs anymore which poses a big problem since anyone planning on going to OP's condo needs to go up two flights of stairs.

If the dog's health continues to deteriorate, there will inevitably come a time when she will have to carry the dog. This is logistically impossible since OP is not a tall person and the dog is 30 lbs heavier than her.

OP told her BF that they might have to postpone moving in together for the sake of his dog

Moving is stressful for anyone, even more so for a 10-year-old dog who is already used to her own home

Her BF said they should not change their plans on account of his dog's health because she has been doing better and is considered healthy for her age

OP is not entirely convinced that the dog will adjust well to her condo since she is used to having a large yard to play in as well

OP can't exactly move since all of her money went into purchasing the condo more than a year ago. How can OP communicate that moving in together is not the greatest idea because of her BF's dog?

Is there a deeper reason why OP wants to postpone moving in with her BF that goes beyond his elderly dog?

OP replied that she is legitimately concerned for the dog's safety around stairs but she also recognized that she may be at fault for making a decision that will affect both her boyfriend and his dog

OP and her BF can do a trial just to see how the dog fares after her health scare

They have done that but OP is thinking ahead and wonders just how difficult it can get once the dog gets even older

She may not be OP's dog but it is her apartment, so her opinion on whether the dog can safely walk up and down the stairs matters

OP's feelings about making such a big life decision is making her doubt if she's really doing this purely out of concern for the dog. They also haven't discussed the matter seriously because her BF is focused on getting his Ph.D.

They're planning on moving in after he gets his doctorate, but maybe that's the best time to discuss things more seriously

Time is another factor because her BF will leave the country two days after his defense which doesn't leave a lot of room to discuss their plans

Both of them are right but they have to find a compromise if they want their relationship to continue

Not talking about it will cause issues, too and OP will end up resenting her BF if she doesn't at least share how she feels

They are actually not sure what caused the dog's health issues since they were both out of town when it happened

But one of her hind legs slips or gives up when she tries to go upstairs which will be difficult to manage given that OP's condo is accessible only through two flights of stairs

If OP pushes their moving in date indefinitely, her BF might not be as patient as her and this could end their relationship

OP doesn't want this to be the problem that breaks them up but posting on Reddit did give her some ideas on how to tackle the problem

OP is right to be concerned about the dog's inability to go up the stairs, her BF probably feels the same but OP shouldn't really bring up his pet dying when she talks about her concerns

Well, this was an interesting story. OP has to find a better way to phrase how she feels.

Her concern for her BF's dog is valid and they should discuss it before he starts packing for the move — they really have to listen to each other carefully before reacting or it could blow up their relationship.

Chelsi