Online Group Shares 50 Utterly Dark And "Cursed Comments" That'll Leave You Stunned Or Make You Laugh
People Share The Funniest Things That A Complete Stranger Has Ever Said In Front Of Them
It really makes you wonder what out of context things other people hear
As we go out and about, we unknowingly become minor characters in other people’s lives. From the businessperson who pushed passed you whilst on the phone, to the friends you eavesdropped on at a café, we wear dozens of random snippets of peoples lives.
We all have impacts on other peoples lives. Some of these impacts are funnier than others. Sometimes a stranger says something that just makes you laugh so hard that you will never forget them.
The best thing I overheard was a woman talking on the phone on the train and all I heard from her conversation was “yeah, well, you’re in prison and I’m not.”
1. "Reddit, whats the funniest thing that a random stranger said to you that made you die laughing inside?"
The question was asked by u/Eta5678.
2. Who let the dogs out?
I was in the drive thru of a Wendy’s one time. An employee exited the building with his headphones on and was singing Who Let The Dogs Out at the top of his lungs. He saw me, stopped singing, and started walking away. A few seconds later he come up to my window and said, “yes, that is what I’m listening to.” Then he walked away. I laughed so hard at the whole situation.
3. TFW you get on the wrong train
"Okay, the laughter was not entirely inside, but years ago on the subway in NY, a crazy dude walks on the train and screams at everyone “You’re all going to hell!” and then steps off as the doors close. Total silence as the weirdness of the moment settles in. Then, without missing a beat, guy across from me goes, “Shit, I thought this train was going to Harlem.” Entire subway car of cynical New Yorkers bursts out laughing"
4. This is very vivid
"I was helping a customer pick out a new bra and she said she wanted her breasts to be lifted. She said, “my boobs are so saggy that if my nipples were eyeballs, I’d be able to see if my shoes were untied”
I really tried my best to remain professional but I couldn’t stop laughing lol"
5. Ah, puns
"I must've been about 10 or 11. I sat down on a bench next to an old guy to sort my shoe out. I took my shoe off and he just turns to me and says "are they golfing socks?" I look at him with a completely blank look on my face thinking "wtf??" as I looked away he just said "there's a hole in one""
6. A dangerous, yet impressive skill
"A few months ago I was waiting at a road crossing with loads of other strangers, waiting for the man to turn green. This was a busy main road in my city.
A little girl on the other side of the road did THE MOST ACCURATE IMPRESSION of the 'beep beep' that the crossing makes so blind people know it's safe to cross, and the entire crowd of people just stepped into the road. I had seen her do it, so I stayed put, but I couldn't stop laughing. My girlfriend was confused.
50 adults pranked by one absolute genius 6ish year old. It was magic"
7. Imagine having such god s*x that you end up losing a limb
"The time I was waiting for takeout and the amputee owner struck up a convo.
"My friend, you have to be really careful if you ever get shot in the knee or any leg bone. They don't warn you that you can't have sex for months. One night you're taking home a beautiful girl to show her your scars and the next morning your leg's gone.""
8. Wally-mellyons
"May of 2000, passing through Norwood Louisiana with a friend, at around 2 in the afternoon we stopped to gas up/grab some snacks at the most podunk gas station known to man.
A young man, extremely agitated comes in with frustrated gestures and angrily shouts/gestures at the cashier with an accent that is beyond region, beyond stereotyping, beyond anything I have heard before:
"Where da' got damned wally-mellyons at!!" at the top of lungs, approaching hysteria and tears."
9. Meanwhile that guy is cringing inside
"I work in retail, and I’m not sure why, but this had me dying for a while. I still laugh when I think about it.
Me: “How you doing today, sir?”
Customer: “Yep.”
And he went on his way."
10. Classic
"Met a guy while camping a few years ago. He told us, matter of factly, that he was a "Redneck hippie" back in the 60's.. He was "there for the sex and the drugs, but not so much that love and peace shit." We still crack up about that."
11. Poor guy
"The college I attend frequently has local elementary and middle school kids on tours, especially on Fridays.
One particular Friday I was in line for the cafeteria when a group of kids came walking by with a tourguide. One kinda chubby little dude looked a bit uncomfortable. He was biting his lip a little, and sweating. This part of the tour is usually when they have a bathroom break, and clearly buddy needed to go. At this point I should note that the bathrooms are visible from where we're standing.
But the tour guide, a fellow student of mine, didn't seem to notice. She just kept going on and on, talking about the history of the building. I watched this kid go from nervous, to deeply anxious, to visibly clenching over a span of about 3 minutes. He's staring at the stick figure dude on the men's bathroom sign as if it was the risen Christ.
Ms. Tour Guide takes a break in her spiel. I figure she's done, the next words out of her mouth will be ones to free this boy from the purgatory that is having to use the bathroom on a school trip. It'll be over. He'll be free.
What followed, instead, was this.
"So in 1995, a professor named A.B.C. Kalamazoo-"
"Move lady, I'm gonna shit my ass!"
He ran past her to the bathroom, and presumably destroyed it. Poor guy. Had the entire line in tears with laughter though."
12. Love's greatest test: watersports
"I once was canoeing with my fiance for the first time and we were having a bit of trouble at first getting a rhythm going so we were along the edge of the water hitting the canal. This random couple was walking along the wall and said to his wife while pointing at us
"Ahh canoeing, the true test of love"
My fiance and I bursted into laughter for 20 minutes and then finally got our rhythm together"
13. When old people realise they're old
[deleted]:
"I was at a 50th wedding anniversary party and there were LOTS of elderly people in attendance. An old man was standing next me and said "it looks like a fucking grave yard in here". I literally spit my beer out (we were out doors). The kicker was the guy was close to the same age as everyone else."
14. No green bananas
"I was working at best buy and had a customer that was 92.
He asked the difference between two towers that were about $100 difference in price. I told him that for what he was going to use it for (he said email and Facebook) that they would both work fine, and that if anything the nicer one might last a bit longer.
He said "last longer? Man I'm 92. I don't even buy green bananas"
Funniest thing I've ever heard"
Rachel
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