40+ Of The Funniest Things Students Have Said That Cracked Teachers Up

"An 8th grader asked me if a skank was the female version of a skunk!"

Sophia

• Published in Interesting
• August 11, 2023

Being a teacher is a uniquely demanding yet incredibly rewarding journey that traverses both the taxing and heartwarming aspects of human connection. The classroom is a realm where dedication meets exhaustion, where the weight of responsibility can sometimes feel overwhelming.

The hours invested in crafting lessons, the relentless grading, and the unwavering commitment to nurturing young minds can drain one's energy to the core. It's a role that demands not just teaching but also mentoring, coaching, and sometimes even parenting.

However, within this whirlwind of effort, there lies a trove of priceless moments that make every sacrifice worthwhile. Amid the hustle and bustle of the school day, there are those instances that light up the room with genuine laughter and spontaneous joy.

It's the laughter that erupts when a student unwittingly offers a hilarious misinterpretation or the heartwarming amusement found in their unfiltered and imaginative observations.

These flashes of levity become the glue that binds the teacher-student relationship, forging connections that extend beyond the classroom. The anecdotes, the funny quotes, the shared smiles—they become the mosaic of memories that remind educators why they embarked on this journey in the first place.

With all that being said, just take a look at these stories that teachers shared online about the funniest encounters they had with their students! Read on and enjoy...

1. "I have a very quiet super studious girl in my rowdiest class full of athletes."

She keeps to herself, gets her work done and is generally my favorite kid ever. One day, the athletes were exceptionally horrible and I happened to walk by her as she muttered to herself "God your moms should have all swallowed"

I snorted coffee out of my nose. No one else heard. She was mortified that I heard her.

2. "My class is prepping for a play..."

3. "Two kids with the same first name..."

4. "I’m a 7th grade SS teacher, one class I had to explain what a swine herder was."

A student in the back called out “Does that mean a person with chickens is a… chicken tender?”

5. "All the time."

The other day I (a clumsy person) knocked my water bottle over and spilled it all behind my desk. Immediately I just start going “everything’s fine! Everything’s fine!”

A 2nd grade boy somberly said “Everything was not fine.”

6. "I was once teaching a lesson about horseshoe crabs (environmental ed) and mentioned they lay 100,000 eggs a season."

And a boy in the back goes “dayummm that’s a lot of child support.”

I couldn’t help it. Had to laugh.

7. "7th grader: but he's the one who started it."

Me: well it takes two to tango.

7th grader: but it only takes one to break dance

Student then begins break dancing.

8. "Yesterday, at the bake sale fundraiser..."

9. "One of my students who REALLY needs his ADHD medication wasn't getting it for a couple of weeks, and he was having a hell of a time coping."

He walking past me, and I heard him whispering to himself, "Holy spirit, activate!" When I'm having a bad moment nowadays, I can be heard whispering the same thing. It still gives me a giggle.

10. "I got so owned..."

11. 'After telling a student he needed to sit down and do his work, he replied “it’s hard to work with all these children around.”'

12. "I have two: "

1. An 8th grader asked me if a skank was the female version of a skunk

2. Two boys were arguing and one told the other that he looked like a gummy bear. After getting them to knock it off I realized that he does, in fact, look like a gummy bear

13. “Do I look handsome today? I’m wearing my dinosaur underwear!”

14. "I had an ELL class reading a simplified version of Romeo and Juliet, and I was reading the stage directions."

I read the direction, “They kiss. They kiss again.”

A 15 year old girl yells, “WHAT THE HELL KIND OF BOOK IS THIS?!?!”

I died.

15. "My fourth grader comes up and..."

16. Playing bass

17. "Small class (4), the other 22 went on a field trip..."

18. "During a 7th grade math test."

Everyone is quiet and one girl starts sneezing. These sneezes are very loud room shakers that scare everyone. She stops for a minute then starts up a few again. In between a few of them I hear her friend next to her whisper "Stop doing that or you're gonna s**t yourself"

I don't know how I kept it together...

19. "It's my username story!"

20. 'While subbing 8th grade one kid loudly said to another "Shut up! That's why my dad don't touch your mom no more"'

21. "A third grader called me a big glob of goo, and then said I was fired and was calling the police."

Actually, he screamed all of this at me at the top of his lungs. I still laugh about the glob of goo comment.

Also a kid told me I was “like a rock in his shoe” to mean I was annoying him. I use that one in my own repertoire of insults now

22. "I have a lot but here's a good one..."

23. "So far, my favorite is when..."

24. "Sometimes, I fart when I run..."

25. "convo with a kinder student: "

student: you smell like my grandma

me: oh...that's nice

student: she died

first, i just about died trying not to laugh, then i started wondering if i should be worried.

26. "I’m a band director, and I was explaining to my beginner brass class the need to support their sound."

I told them to think of squeezing their stomachs and I had a student say, “I have IBS so is it safe for me to do this?”

27. "Chicken wings are..."

28. "Please look around the ground for crayons..."

29. "Teaching 8th grade..."

30. "Student, to me: Miss, do you have a boyfriend?"

Me: no I don’t

Student: soooo, does that mean you’re single and ready to Pringle?!

31. “Okay kids, fold your paper hotdog style”

“Your mom likes it hotdog style”

That’s a top 10 for me.

32. "3rd grader was running from point a to point b."

33. "These 2 boys were beefing over early morning basketball..."

34. "I was discussing something with my high school seniors..."

35. "You mean they all die virgins?"

36. "Pre-K'er asked me how old I was."

I told her. She said, "Oh my god! That makes me want to die!"

That convo will randomly pop in my head and still makes me laugh out loud!

37. An element of surprise

38. "A change of scenery"

39. "I teach 7th grade and they are still learning new vocab words and such."

One boy told me he ‘had to go to the bathroom very tediuously’

40. "Beep boop"

41. 'First grader, dead serious eating string cheese: “Excuse me. This cheese tastes like watermelon.”'

42. "That's why your grandma stole from dollar general"

43. "Gassy" accidents

44. What's wrong with Terry Fox?

45. The problem with kiwi...

There is no denying that teaching and dealing with kids daily can be incredibly exhausting—but it's definitely rewarding when you come across interactions like these ones! The bottom line, the funny part of dealing with and teaching kids definitely trumps the stressful aspect of it.

Do you have anything similar to share? Comment down your thoughts, or share this article for all your family and friends to see!

Sophia