Woman Asks The Internet If She Should Dump All Her Frogs Because Her Boyfriend Says So

Studying frogs is her passion, and the reason she became a biologist. But should she put that aside for the one she loves?

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• March 1, 2020

Stories on the subreddit r/relationships often seem like they are going in one direction, and then suddenly – a twist in the complete opposite direction. We start reading the story and immediately form an opinion based on very limited info. And then, after reading the rest of the statement, we see things differently.

We have here one such tale. It was posted by Redditor u/chirpchirping under the title, “My (21F) boyfriend (22M) wants me to choose between him and my life passion (frogs).”

At first, it would seem crazy to dedicate yourself to frogs over a devoted partner, but she didn’t use the words “life passion” casually. She clarifies that she’s been rescuing frogs and looking after them like they were her own kids. Frogs are the reason she became a biologist, and she is in college working hard to achieve that goal. She claims they help her with depression issues and losing friendships.

“At the time it felt like the only reason I was still here was to nurture them and give them comfortable homes, ” she says.

Six months ago, she met her boyfriend. The OP told their relationship is good, but that he says he doesn’t like animals very much. He also told her he was going away for grad school and asked her to join him, but she had to choose three out of her 14 frogs to bring with her.

It's hard to understand how you can start dating a person who has 14 frogs and believe that is something you can alter about them overnight, or at all, but her boyfriend was doing that exact thing. The OP writes:

"I’m heartbroken because I don’t want to feel like I have to choose between the two most important things in my life. I’m frustrated and feel like it’s unfair of him to make me rehome all of them. I’ve tried to make compromises offering to rehome half, or even pay extra for us to have an extra bedroom for my frogs so he wouldn’t have to see or interact with them. He says he doesn’t like them because they’re ugly which to me is completely outrageous for him to be so dismissive of something I’m so passionate about.

I’m not sure what I should do, if I should break up with him and not go? Or if maybe I do have too many frogs and if I should rehome some?"

She is asking for advice. Ant the internet says- don’t give up on your passion and dreams.

Judging from by previous posts from the OP, she devotes about as much time to her frogs as any person with a strong hobby, she isn’t a frog shut-in and introvert. Many users pointed out that she is young and her relationship with her boyfriend isn’t that long. There are many people out there who will appreciate and encourage her frog love, but she won’t be able to meet them if she lives with a person who craps all over it:

The story made it to Twitter and lots of people contributed:

And the comments seem to have persuaded the OP. She said in an update:

I want to thank you guys for all being so supportive of me. This advice is phenominal and I’m definitely going to bring it up to him. If he’s still firm on his frog rule, I think it would be beneficial for me to seek attention elsewhere. Definitely some hard to read stuff but I needed this. Thank you thank you thank you!!!

What do you think, should she ditch the frogs?

Damjan