Woman Chooses Surgery Over Best Friend's Birthday, Faces Backlash

"It's a common female procedure, that can be pushed back"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• May 19, 2024

It can be difficult for many adults to make new friends or maintain ones they already have. Priorities such as a job, taking care of one's parents or children, or caring for the elderly may take precedence over friendships.

Changes in your lives or interests may have caused a rift between you and your friends. But it doesn't change the fact that having friends can significantly improve your health and well-being.

However, making and keeping friends is not always easy. It's important to recognize the value of social interaction in your life and learn how to create and maintain enduring friendships.

Having supportive friends is everything as they can encourage you through difficult times and help you enjoy the good moments. In addition to preventing loneliness and isolation, friends also allow you to provide the necessary company.

The OP has a BFF, and they have been friends for 26 years. They have had similar medical issues throughout their lives.

The OP suggested a surgical procedure she had done, and her doctor agreed that it would benefit her too. So she gets scheduled and tells the OP it was scheduled for her birthday.

The OP politely asked her to reschedule for another day, as there was more than enough time to make arrangements for another day. OP's friend said she needs her to take care of her after surgery, but that wouldn't happen if it's on her birthday. 

The OP writes

OP's BFF gets scheduled and told her it was scheduled for her birthday

They have an entire itinerary planned for the day

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

The action I'm taking to be judged is not being there for my friend on her day of surgery. I feel like an a-hole because I know her personal situation is rough & she doesn't have a lot of dependable people around. Her mom is sick with 2 types of cancer & is bed ridden from the pain. Her stepdad is never home & if he is, he's in the basement. Her children have mental health disorders on top of being spoiled so she has a full plate daily. But her eldest daughter is 15 & I feel like there's no excuse for her daughter not being able to help out. I can be there every day after the 16th, just not on the 16th.

And the comments from other Redditors roll in...

You will need to make other arrangements

I'm not available on my birthday

Do you choose your surgery day?

Prioritizing her need over the OP's

It's not a life or death surgery

Plane tickets have been purchased

Creating and preserving strong friendships requires work but a good friendship can also bring comfort and happiness, so the time investment is well worth it. OP's friend expects her to look after her and ditch her family on her birthday which doesn't make sense.

At the end of it all, the post got an "everyone sucks" verdict. Do share this story with your loved ones to get their own opinions as well.

Maryjane