Woman Asks For New Engagement Ring After Her Fiancé Bought Flashy Ring That Reflected His Family's Wealth

Her future father-in-law said they couldn't risk looking cheap in front of their friends because of her simple taste in jewelry.

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• May 27, 2024

A 25-year-old's engagement to her boyfriend of five years did not come as a surprise because they had in-depth conversations about marriage. What was unexpected was the engagement ring he picked.

OP's fiancé picked a huge engagement ring— the opposite of the style OP frequently told him about. Although taken aback by the ring, OP said yes to her fiancé when he asked if she wanted to marry him.

She asked him the day after if they could pick out a different engagement ring. One that was more to her liking, but her fiancé said no because the ring was from his family, so the final say on how it should look was his.

OP's fiancé insinuated they had to keep up appearances because his family was affluent. Their parents somehow learned the newly engaged couple was fighting about the engagement ring.

OP's parents suggested they meet halfway and find a design they could both be happy with. Meanwhile, her future in-laws said they had a standard to uphold.

They said they couldn't look poor and risk getting embarrassed in front of their peers due to OP's simpler tastes. OP suggested that they purchase a second ring she could wear regularly and reserve the flashy ring for special events with her fiancé's family.

Her fiancé immediately dismissed OP's suggestion.

OP was confused about why they couldn't just buy a second ring.

What was wrong with a ring she would be happy with and could wear every day?

OP explained that her future in-laws were the type of people to go on a month-long luxurious European vacation to meet their equally rich friends.

She also said her fiancé's controlling behavior about the ring was surprising because he was typically considerate and sweet.

Redditors warned OP that this was a glimpse into her married life.

If OP allows her fiancé and his family to dictate her engagement ring, they will bulldoze all over her ideas in the future.

OP has to ask herself if this is the man and family she wants to marry into. A group of people who would cause her discomfort to prove their net worth.

OP shared an update 8 days later after she had illuminating conversations with her fiancé and his mom.

OP explained her perspective to her fiancé, and he was near tears by the time she was done talking.

Josh said the ring was entirely his father's pick. He was unhappy with the understated ring he picked for OP because it didn't reflect their status and made him buy a new one.

After getting the reassurance they were equal partners, OP set up a brunch with her future mother-in-law. She spoke at length about her husband's controlling nature, which she eventually got used to.

Her MIL said her husband had conflicting feelings about OP. He wanted his son to marry someone with status but was enamored when he met OP. He didn't know how to untangle his emotions, so he lashed out when Josh talked about proposing.

OP is going through with the engagement. She and her MIL agreed it was best if she distanced herself from her FIL while he worked on his issues.

It seems OP's future FIL is the main source of all the drama. It was the right decision to keep him at arms' length while he figured out his issues.

Now that they are on the other end of the tunnel, OP and her future husband will go into their marriage with the certainty of each other's characters. May her fiancé learn to stand up to his father before it ruins their relationship.

Chelsi