Lady Lists Reasons She Doesn't Want Her Fiancée To Get A Pet, Loses Her Cool, And Gets Termed A Controlling AH

"I still think it would be a bad idea to allow a cat into the house"

Maryjane

• Published in Animal Stories
• December 6, 2023

Having a cat can make for a very fulfilling relationship. A cat may instantly give you an outlet for play and enjoyment while also calming your nervous system.

Cats are independent creatures that like to forage and explore on their own schedules, but they are also incredibly loving toward their owners and other individuals they can rely on. But what happens when your partner doesn't want to have a pet?

The OP and her fiancée will be moving in together soon, and since she has a house and the partner is renting, it made sense for her to move to the OP's place. The partner's current apartment doesn't allow any pets, and since she grew up with lots of pets, she has been missing having a pet.

I do sympathize with her desire for another pet in her life, so I've been trying to be very gentle in reminding her that I do not want a pet in our house. I have explained to her the reasons for this many times, and she agrees that it would be better not to have a pet.

The OP listed why she didn't want to get a pet, but her partner was still adamant about getting one. The OP admits that she lost her patience and came across as much harsher than she attended when she told her that she could not have a cat because she blew up and told the OP she was being a controlling AH.

The headline

The story kicks off

Here are the reasons

The concluding part

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I feel like I may be the AH because I lost my patience with my partner and told her that she cannot get a cat, despite wanting one so badly. I was perhaps more harsh with her than necessary and may have even come across as controlling.

The comments roll in...

It's not something to play around with

That's not dangerous

You'll eventually give in

The OP gives more details in the comments

To be more specific, my tone came across as very frustrated, and I raised my voice a little but not at all to the point of shouting. I don't think I quite understand the power imbalance issue, sorry. If its about the house, I am signing her on the mortgage so she would be able to be half-owner, so it really won't be like the house is just mine.

Do you think that that is still adding to a feeling of being controlled? I am genuinely asking, because I really don't want her to feel like I am controlling her or that I have some power over her. Even if my post didn't communicate that very well.

The OP's not wrong

The reluctance is alarming

This is life threatening

The OP gave specifics

What makes the OP sad is that her fiancée is so understanding of their other allergies - no peanuts, tree nuts, or eggs for either, and no dairy or soy for the nephew! But for the allergies part, she just doesn't seem to get on the same level.

Redditors dissected the whole story and the OP was declared not the AH and you can drop your own opinions in the comments section below.

Maryjane