Woman Discovers Extent Of Fiancée's Vanity After Getting Silent Treatment When She Looked At Her While She Had Stye On One Eye

"I work in a school…literally had this issue with 2 five year olds today!"

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• February 29, 2024

Not unlike the mythological story of Psyche and Eros, a 37-year-old OP was also forbidden by her fiancée from looking at her face. Her fiancée, J, forbade OP from doing so because she had a stye in one of her eyes.

She thought the barely noticeable style made her look unattractive. In the year they have been together, OP understood that the root of her fiancée's insecurities was her tumultuous 18-year marriage.

J's ex-husband was a serial cheater who constantly put her down until she had little to no self-worth. It made J critical of her looks and why she felt ashamed of her stye infection.

J thought her eye looked worse and asked OP not to look at her. OP laughed and sleepily asked her fiancée if it was a joke.

J said she was serious and repeated her request. OP agreed to J's request, which included buying her an eyepatch.

They stayed home all day, but J kept complaining about how hideous she must look because of the infection. OP made the mistake of looking at J in an attempt to give her a genuine assurance that her face wasn't as marred as she thought.

J was furious, left their bed, and locked herself in the bathroom. She only opened the door when OP knocked to give her the eyepatch.

She put the eyepatch on and told OP she wasn't speaking to her when she left the room.

OP was tense the whole day as her fiancée moved around the apartment with an eyepatch on without acknowledging her existence.

She texted OP to sleep in another bedroom because she broke her boundaries.

OP tried to apologize, but her fiancée didn't accept it.

J at least allowed OP to kiss her goodbye the next morning before OP left for work. They still haven;t spoken, but OP has no idea how to win her fiancée back.

Redditors pointed out how unhealthy the relationship seemed on paper. They said J handled the situation immaturely.

J telling OP not to look at her was unreasonable and controlling.

It also was not a boundary as J claimed. It was an imposition.

Another commenter explained how J's request (command) could have been an actual boundary.

Their alarm bells were ringing. So much so that they told OP to run and break things off with J.

J needs help, and so does OP if she is going to survive this relationship.

OP posted an update. She and J made up. J apologized to OP by making them dinner and promising she would talk to her psychologist about what happened.

OP believes that J's insecurities resurfaced after she saw her ex-husband a week ago when he dropped off their son.

OP did not ask for any advice if she should stay in a relationship with J. Redditors' advice about running for the hills fell on deaf ears because OP doesn't see J's behavior as a deal-breaker.

She only wanted to know if she was a jerk for not following J's demand to not look at her face. OP wasn't the jerk in that case, but she and J need to find a way to communicate healthier because how they handled that issue was concerning.

Chelsi