Desperate Lady Seeks Help Online As Her Boyfriend's New Roommate Is Overly Friendly Around Him, Expresses Her Hatred For Her

"I just get bad vibes from this girl and I don’t know why"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• September 18, 2023

Being kind is unquestionably a wonderful thing. However, being "too nice" can actually damage your relationships.

Yes, being kind and nice is a virtue to possess and as people, we genuinely cherish and appreciate our friends and family's help and compassion. However, when the scales are out of balance, it can be harmful to you and even to people you believe are acting in their best interests.

Being friendly is probably considered by many to be a great trait that will make you popular and amenable to getting along with, and that is probably true. Being overly nice, though, can make you a doormat or a people-pleaser.

It might imply that you prioritize the needs of others over your own. That may also imply that some people get away with doing things they shouldn't but for the OP, she was tired of the boyfriend's roommate being over friendly with her man.

She’s always hanging around the OP's boyfriend, both inside and outside the apartment. The OP couldn't help but get the sense that she has no boundaries.

Even when they were making calls, this roommate would often try to take away her boyfriend's attention by speaking to him, and it's as if she’s a third person in their conversation. The OP doesn't want him hanging out with her anymore, but then again, she doesn't want to cause problems in her relationship.

So she came to Reddit to get advice.

The headline

The OP almost immediately got the vibe that he was much more interested in her as a person

It’s incredibly irritating and it’s happened so many times that he has to go outside

Let's hear what other redditors have to advice the OP

The OP clearly hates how her boyfriend treats her better

He just didn't care enough to do it for the OP

There's a lack of boundary enforcement on his end

The OP kept asking what she's going to do in the comments

What should I do here? how should I address it? I've already tried to speak to him about it but he says I'm being 'crazy' and most recently said I was jealous of her because she is younger than me, which really pissed me off. I don't know how to go about addressing their dynamic. he just doesn't get it.

The OP should troubling herself about that

The OP can see the hand writing boldly written on the wall

He is terrible at setting boundaries with her

It's not she begged the OP's boyfriend to buy her a cake or hang out with her

The bad feeling the OP has should be for how she's being treated

A person who is overly friendly might never really be recognized or taken seriously but this roommate is really striving to take up space in the life of the OP's boyfriend. Many redditors say that this isn’t just the OP being generally insecure or controlling, because she has no problems with his other female friends, or even his last female roommate.

His interaction with this specific woman is very clearly the problem and we hoped it gets fixed.

Maryjane