Father Jealous Of Son's Stepdad And Threatens To Withdraw Wedding Fund Because Son Wants Them Both Walking Him Down The Aisle

"It hurt a lot that he'd want some step parent to walk him down the aisle"

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• October 14, 2023

cvbSometimes, people forget that weddings are about the new beginning in life and that, at least for that day, they should leave their disagreements aside. Parents also tend to forget that their child's wedding is about their child, not them.

Therefore, adults may unknowingly use emotional manipulation to control a child's decisions for their own comfort. And that's what a Reddit user recently wanted to do.

The OP explained he was still in the army when his eldest son, Karter (23M), was between 5 and 10 years old. Although the OP and Karter's mother were divorced by then, the OP always made efforts to be an involved and caring father.

After leaving the army, the OP dedicated as much time as possible to Karter, and they maintained a strong bond. Karter's mother remarried shortly after their divorce to a man named Steven.

Although Steven treats Karter well, the OP acknowledges that he and Steven don't necessarily get along. Karter is marrying his fiancé, Clark (25M), next month.

Given financial constraints on Karter's mother and Clark's family's side, the OP was approached to cover the wedding expenses, and he willingly agreed. However, the OP recently found that Karter wishes for the OP and Steven to walk him down the aisle together.

This revelation deeply upset the OP because he feels that as the biological father, he should be the only person to have that honor. After a significant argument about this matter, the OP told their son he would withdraw financial support for the wedding if they didn't kick their stepdad out of this event.

Karter's mother is furious at the OP and accuses him of selfishness, but the OP's father believes the OP should stand his ground. So, the OP asks for unbiased opinions on whether he's in the wrong.

The OP asks:

The OP explained he made an effort to be a good dad:

His wife's new husband treats their son well:

The son wishes his stepdad and the OP to walk him down the aisle together:

That upset the OP, and he threatened not to pay for the wedding if Steven stayed included:

Wrong way to show his emotions

"You're jealous that he has a good relationship with his step dad too"

"Wanting both dad's to walk him down the aisle doesn't mean he loves you less."

Good point

He just loves both his dads

It's his son's day, the OP should leave the jealousy behind

"Change your perspective"

"Maybe you overreacted a bit"

"It seems like he is 'insecure' in his fatherly role"

"That is probably partly what caused a lot of tension between him and stepdad"

"Doesn't seem like it"

The son loves them both

It's not a competition

"Pay for you own wedding and you can do whatever you want."

The OP did the best he could

Seems like OP is jealous that his son has a second father-figure

Redditors sympathize with the OP for being jealous that his son has feelings and respect for his stepdad. But they told him he had the wrong perspective.

The OP should be happy for his son to have two caring fathers. After all, it's not a competition, it's their son's wedding, and obviously they both love them.

Filip