Man Drops His "No Dating Until Age 16" Rule After Finding Out It Was Doing More Harm Than Good, Older Kids Accuse Him Of Using Them As "Guinea Pigs"

"I was trying to keep them safe, and having a hard and fast rule was doing the opposite"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• May 8, 2023

Children learn what behaviors are appropriate and inappropriate from their families. Children will eventually be required to abide by regulations as they get older.

Children can learn to follow rules in other places by doing so at home. We know that kids frequently disobey rules and push boundaries, but they will clearly learn the value of rules if you consistently enforce the consequences when they are broken.

Keep in mind that occasionally, young children violate the law only because they forget. Not every rule violation is the result of children pushing the boundaries.

The original poster of today's AITA story had a "no dating until age 16" rule. The OP thought it would allow his kids to be more mature and go about it more safely because they'd be old enough.

Little did the OP know that the rule ended up creating an environment of secrecy. In fact, the real rule became "just don't let dad find out," which is the exact opposite of what the OP wanted.

The OP then realized that he needed to change his opinion. More than anything, he was trying to keep his kids safe, and his hard-and-fast rule was doing the opposite.

After his first son went on a date at 13, the older siblings accused the OP of allowing the younger kids to get away with things they would never have been allowed to do. 

Here's the story's title

The rule ended up creating an environment of secrecy and the real rule became "just don't let dad find out"

The OP's oldest two found out and were furious, claiming that the OP got permissive

Apparently the OP has learnt from his mistakes and should be open to admitting that he was wrong in the past

This Redditor believes the OP should take accountability of his decisions and dumb rules

The OP ought to try his best and adjusting the way he parents his kids

Of course, the older kids will feel as if they were being used as a test drive and the OP didn't even apologize

This Redditor explains how their parents apologized that it had to be that way and made up for it when they could

The older kids still got the shorter side of the deal so the OP needs to be more empathic

The OP didn't just wake up one day and his son was 13

We were doing the best for you but we are humans and we made a mistake

This Redditor wants to know if the OP talked to his kids before that

Family rules must be known, understood, and adhered to by all members of the household for them to be effective. Children won't receive conflicting messages about what is acceptable or unacceptable by doing this, but it seems the OP ended up ruining things.

He was declared the AH, and you can share this post with your loved ones to get their opinions too.

Maryjane