Redditor Promises BIL He Can Live With Her And BF, But Changes Mind After Getting A Preview Of What That Would Be Like

He cannot hold onto a job, is loud, and is an irresponsible dog owner.

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• January 2, 2023

Moving in with someone is a big decision that must be carefully thought through. You have to see if you are compatible with a person.

And sometimes, you can get a preview of things to come. Is it wrong to back out of the deal?

Let's find out what Reddit thinks about that. One Redditor asked, "AITA for wanting to only move with my boyfriend and exclude his brother from further living with us?"

He cannot hold onto a job, is loud, and is an irresponsible dog owner. He is irresponsible, can't hold onto a job, doesn't clean, doesn't pays bills, and doesn't take care of his dog.

Unfortunately, his mom and brother are enabling his behavior. "He is young, and he will learn," they say. OP and her BF can't afford to pay for everything.

OP and her BF are planning on finding a better apartment and getting married. They promised his brother that he could live with them, but it was before they knew what he was like to live with.

OP wants to tell him that previous plans are canceled but is afraid of the family drama that will ensue. So OP asks if she will be the A-hole if she goes back on her word.

Read the full story here:

OP asks:

She lives with his BF and his half brother. And he is not a dream roommate.

He is irresponsible, can't hold onto a job, doesn't clean, doesn't pays bills, and doesn't take care of his dog.

His mom and brother are enabling his behavior. "He is young, and he will learn," they say.

OP and her BF can't afford to pay for everything.

OP and her BF are planning on finding a better apartment and getting married. They promised his brother that he could live with them, but it was before they knew what he was like to live with.

OP wants to tell him that previous plans are canceled but is afraid of the family drama that will ensue.

So OP asks if she will be the A-hole if she goes back on her word.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

Most people want to set up a household with just their SO

OP says:

It is a classic example of enabling

A free pass...

All people have to grow up eventually.

This Redditor has a good point

Negative enabling is when someone enables another person's negative or harmful behaviors rather than helping them to make positive changes. This can involve providing support or resources that enable the person to continue engaging in unhealthy or destructive behaviors rather than encouraging or helping them to seek help or make positive changes.

Negative enabling can be harmful to both the person being enabled and the enabler, as it can perpetuate harmful patterns of behavior and prevent the person from taking responsibility for their actions. It is important to be aware of the potential for negative enabling and to try to avoid it, instead focusing on supporting and empowering others to make positive changes in their lives.

Damjan