Estranged Mother Pressures Daughter To Stay In Country For College, Daughter Says She Lost Right To Opinion

"My dad never said anything bad about my mother to me, but my mother has tried to turn me against him and his side of the family"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• February 29, 2024

When parents split up, it can shake things up for everyone involved. This story is about a 17-year-old girl dealing with the fallout from her parents' messy divorce.

Her mom cheated on her dad, and ever since then, things have been pretty complicated. The girl ended up living with her mom and her new husband, Carl, but she always missed her dad a lot because the court said she could only see him every other weekend.

Later on, her dad fought to see her more, and they got to spend equal time together. Her mom has been trying hard to make her feel like part of her new family with Carl and her step-siblings, but it just doesn't feel right to her.

She's been pushed to celebrate special days with them instead of her dad and even to call Carl her dad, which she doesn't want to do. Her mom also didn't like her hanging pictures of her dad or keeping gifts from him, which made things worse.

Now, she's planning to go to college in France, which has been a dream of hers, especially since her dad's job is moving there too. But when her mom found out, she flipped out and said she couldn't go.

They had a big argument, and the girl ended up telling her mom that she doesn't feel like she's her family in the same way her dad is. Her dad supports her, but her step-sister and her mom are upset with her for saying that.

She's feeling stuck and wondering if she was too mean to her mom.

OP's parents split due to her mom's affair with Carl, now OP's stepdad, her dad's work schedule limited their time together until he fought for equal custody.

Despite OP's dad's silence on negative matters regarding her mother, her mom attempts to alienate her from him and his family.

She pressured OP into bonding with her step-siblings despite their differences, insisting we're siblings, not step-siblings.

OP is not close with her step-siblings, but they are cordial.

Her mom insisted on family therapy, where they urged her to stop prioritizing her dad and consider being adopted by Carl instead, but they stopped attending when the therapist sided with OP.

She made OP remove photos of her dad and his family from her bedroom walls and tried to take away the plushie her dad gave her as a baby.

OP doesn't have a good relationship with her mother, they don't talk, and OP keeps her out of her personal life.

OP plans to study abroad because her dad's job requires relocation to France, but her mother opposes the idea and wants her to stay in the state.

She said if OP went to France, they wouldn't see each other often, and OP should stay with her 'real family", but OP disagreed.

Stepsister accuses OP of being awful to mom and her dad thinks she might've been harsh, but says an apology isn't necessary if she doesn't want to.

OP's father has shown respect for her and her choices.

OP's mom's pushy behavior is harming OP, especially in her attempts to obstruct OP's relationship with her beloved father.

OP's mom is responsible for her own actions.

She's been manipulating and controlling OP, ignoring her feelings.

OP's mom caused the damage to the family and now she's preaching about family values.

OP's therapist was correct.

OP's mother created this situation and is now facing the consequences of her actions.

She might never realize the extent of her actions.

OP should distance oneself from the chaos and spend quality time with the father.

OP was harsh, but the situation warranted it.

OP's mom's actions show she doesn't value true family.

Things in OP's family are pretty messed up, mostly because of what her parents have been doing since they split up. OP's dad has been cool about letting her make her own decisions and respecting her choices, which is great.

But her mom has been acting all pushy and making things worse, especially when it comes to OP's relationship with her dad, whom she loves. It might be a good idea for OP to take a step back from all the drama and spend more time with her dad, who's been there for her.

Even though OP might have seemed a bit harsh when she talked to her mom, it was important for her to stand up for herself and say how she felt. At the end of the day, OP's mom's actions show she doesn't understand what being a true family means, and OP needs to focus on what's best for her happiness.

Damjan