Redditor Harrassed By Family After Refusing To Fly Across The Country For The 5th Time That Year To Celebrate Her Sister's "Surprise" Engagement

Is it too much?

Ayoub

• Published in Interesting
• January 3, 2023

When a young person finally moves out of the home they have been familiar with their whole life, the change can be hard for both the parents and the person moving out of the nest. It's one of the most crucial transitions in people's lives when they go from being adolescents to grown adults that are expected to care for themselves. 

Leaving the nest has many causes and effects. Since the turn of the 21st century, young people have been moving out of their previous accommodations at an increasingly younger age. 

Different opinions exist on when, where, and who should leave the nest. There are cultures, particularly in Eastern societies, where it is not socially acceptable for women to leave the nest until they get married.

A Redditor who later deleted her account made a post on the r/AmItheA**hole subReddit where she explained how she received a hostile reaction after refusing to attend her sister's engagement party. The user was expected to take a long trip across the country to visit her family but couldn't afford it.

The Reddit community had a lot of different reactions to the user's post. Scroll down to check out the full Reddit post, and scroll a little further to read the comments from the original post. 

Here's the original post by a Reddit user who later deleted their account:

The sister's boyfriend planned to propose soon and wanted OP to attend the celebration.

OP got accused of "making excuses" after she refused to fly back home for the fifth time that year.

OP's family has too many expectations of her.

The family's reaction made OP doubt her decision, so she decided to consult with the Reddit community:

OP thinks she might be the a-hole for the following reason:

Here's how the Reddit community reacted to the user's post:

That's one way to shame him into paying for the trip.

Flights are not cheap and they are well aware of that.

"This makes no sense to me..."

OP doesn't have to physically be there to attend the celebration.

Some people don't even consider video chatting as an option.

"Sometimes you gotta give the folks back home a little dose of hash reality."

OP needs to visit her family even less.

The events that follow the proposal are more significant.

If they want OP there so badly, they could still offer to pay for the trip.

Time for new traditions to be made!

That should be the only option.

Setting boundaries is important, even with family.

OP should stop sacrificing her time and money for her ungrateful family.

"These folks have some strange ideas about priorities."

OP should set clear boundaries with her family and impose a little more respect than she's currently getting. Her family clearly doesn't appreciate the sacrifices she makes for them, and she should invest much less in them in the future.

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Ayoub