Some people have bio family out there. And some of them find it.
“This f*cking text message right here changed my life forever,” Lane says
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“About a year ago now, on Jan. 9, I get a text message telling me to get a DNA test from Ancestry. And I think it’s fake, I FaceTime my friend, and I’m like, ‘Listen to this.’ And she’s like, ‘I swear my gut is telling me this is real. You need to respond.’ So I respond, and then they write me back,” she continues.
“I was shook that they responded,” Lane adds, showing another part of the text conversation. “I let them know I had already done 23andMe the year before because it was on sale. I was hoping I was gonna find that I was like secretly exotic or related to royalty, but I’m just English and Irish like I thought I was.”
Lane reported that someone had attempted to reach out to her and her husband via a disposable Facebook profile.
“They would not provide me with any sort of proof that this was real, and, obviously, I called my mom immediately, saying, ‘What the f*ck.’”
Well, Lana’s mom had some news for her.
“My mom always told me this story that she was an alcoholic and my dad was a cheater. So when I called her, she says, ‘I know exactly what you’re talking about, I had an affair.’ I almost fell off my f*cking chair,’ Lane says in the video. ‘She had an affair with a guy ten years younger than her when she was in college. It was a one-time thing, but he even saw her on campus and said, ‘Is that mine?’ and she denied it.”
After hearing the story from her mother, Lane decided to get an Ancestry test done and waited for the results. Upon receiving them, she was delighted to discover that the man who had sent her a text message was indeed her father.
“I find out that, yes, this man is my father. So I message him immediately, and he lives in California. He’s British. What the f*ck?
He said my mom sent him a Christmas card when I was two years old, saying my name in it and that he’s googled my name ever since.
He followed me on social media my entire life. He watched me date my boyfriend, get married, have babies, everything, all from the outside, not able to know me.”
Lane created a follow-up video in which she discussed how her biological father had attempted to keep abreast of her life from a distance over the years.
Lane found out that he had called her workplace to hear her voice and had wanted to get a haircut from her at the salon she worked at, though his wife had advised against it. This incident has had a negative impact on her relationship with her mother.
“You can imagine a secret of this magnitude requires a lot of lying and betrayal and manipulation to keep it up for this long. Cutting my mom off was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Never would I have ever expected it. We were like this [crossed fingers] growing up. I used to tell people she was my soulmate,” Lane says.
Lane met her bio dad
When Lane encountered her biological father, it didn't turn out to be exactly what she had in mind. She felt "stupid" after they parted and noticed they weren't really making eye contact. However, some people suggested that this may have been due to cultural differences, either because he was British or he was simply not as expressive.
“Our interactions left me feeling very confused, very invalidated. I was there for like five days. We met up once or twice a day to hang out and go out to eat or something and every time I felt like I was prying information out of him and I just felt like he didn’t like me.”
“I was A-OK until the last day, and then I got very emotional because I guess I was just hoping by the last day it would be different and when it wasn’t, it was just hard. So here I am back in New York, and yeah, I hope that our relationship continues to get better,” she says.