Redditor Faces Pressure From Entitled Mom Over Christmas Gifts, Amidst Chaotic Divorce

"I'm going through a horrendous time right now, but my mom doesn't care."

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• September 26, 2023

Divorce is an emotional minefield that is devastating not only to the couple involved but also to their immediate family and friends. When you're navigating through the labyrinth of legal processes, emotional pain, and financial instability, the last thing you need is the weight of additional expectations.

Imagine being 26, mentally disabled, and just six weeks into a messy divorce. Yet, amidst this turmoil, you still face the daunting task of keeping up with holiday traditions, specifically, hand-crafted Christmas hampers that demand weeks of meticulous preparation.

For our Redditor (OP), the struggle has been overwhelming. They almost lost their house and managed to rescue their pets from foster care, but it still didn't change the fact that things have been going downhill.

Friends and extended family seem to understand and have urged them to prioritize self-care over the holiday hampers. However, their mother appears to be a glaring exception.

OP's mother has insisted that the Christmas hampers—comprising complex baked goods like cheesecakes, gingerbread, Christmas cakes, etc.—must be prepared for family members on time. Worst of all, she doesn't care that OP's problems have recently been compounded by an illness.

The mother's request, seemingly simple to an outsider, feels like a mountain to someone already buried under life's avalanches. How can this tired, ill, and frustrated Redditor please their entitled mother without putting their physical and mental health at risk?

Let's see if the Reddit community has some answer to this critical question.

The story in detail

A bit of background

Everyone has decided not to put pressure on OP to allow them fully recover. But their mother doesn’t seem to care

OP is going through a horrible time and is fed up of their mother’s entitlement

We gathered some comments from the Reddit community:

“Tell her not to come, full-stop. You aren’t a free bakery.”

“Email her the recipes and let her know that you'd like her to make two extra for you as well before she arrives.“

“Tell her to stay home because you will not be opening the door to let her in.“

If OP’s mom needs them so bad, she might need to strap up and start baking herself

“Stepfather's family is his problem, not yours. Keep your door locked and tell your mother to place a bakery order.”

“Stop. The most important thing to do is take care of yourself.“

“If she can't respect that it could be done after Christmas, tell her she won't be getting anything.“

“I hereby allow you tell your mother NO, since you haven't given yourself that permission yet.“

The Reddit community has sympathized with OP on their divorce. They feel terrible that their mother, who is supposed to be their pillar in such a trying time, is the one causing them more pain.

The commenters have overwhelmingly advised OP to wave off their mother’s demands and cater to themself instead. We do hope that OP can smile again in the near future.

Do you have any advice for OP? Share them in the comments below.

Jesse