Young Woman In Complicated Family Situation Feels Disregarded After Mom's Pregnancy Revelation

Her mother is still mentally unstable because of substance abuse.

May

• Published in Interesting
• January 28, 2024

It's unreasonable to expect emotional maturity from a 20-year-old who endured a troubled childhood, especially one marked by the absence of their mother due to drug addiction. Studies indicate that childhood experiences can significantly impact one's health later in life.

Individuals who undergo multiple bad childhood experiences may be more prone to developing mental health problems like depression, anxiety, and substance abuse, as well as engaging in unhealthy habits.

If parents can't help, it's crucial for the legal guardian and other relatives to understand the child's situation and empathetically support them.

Unfortunately, in some families, even the relatives also become the cause of pain for some individuals. Today's story is one such example.

The original poster (OP), a 20-year-old woman, shared her issues with the "Am I The A**hole?" (AITA) subreddit and wondered if she was in the wrong. Growing up, she had a tumultuous relationship with her mother, who battled addiction.

At 13, she found solace in living with her uncles, who became the parental figures she needed. Despite her mother's struggles, she maintained some contact and celebrated her recent strides in recovery.

However, when her mother revealed that she was pregnant and her newfound motivation stemmed from starting a family with her boyfriend, the OP felt rejected and hurt. She left their meeting early, feeling disregarded and unimportant.

Subsequently, her mother's boyfriend called, berating her for her reaction and blaming her for hindering her mother's progress. Her family expressed disappointment and frustration, making her doubt her actions.

OP felt unimportant after her mom's pregnancy revelation.

OP had a difficult childhood due to her mom's addiction problems.

Her uncles have been very supportive of her, explaining that leaving her under their care was proof of her mom's love for her.

The mom has a new boyfriend and that that two are now living together.

The OP and her mom still maintain contact.

The OP felt happy that her mom called to spend some times with her, but didn't get her hopes up too much.

The mom told the OP that she has been trying different things to make her life better after the addiction problem.

The mom mentioned how the thought of starting a new family motivated her. She then reveals to the OP that she's pregnant.

After hearing the news, the OP was hurt.

Because the OP's silent treatment, her mom became unstable again. The boyfriend blamed the OP because of it.

Her OP's grandparents also blame her.

She turns the OP if going silent treatment on her mom makes her an a-hole.

It was never the OP's fault.

There's no one to blame but her mom for making poor life choices.

The mom isn't even thinking things through. Why is she having a new child when she's still not emotionally stable?

If the mom is emotionally stable enough, she shouldn't have reacted the way she did.

Unfortunately, some of the OP's relatives as well as the mom's boyfriend are enablers.

The OP can never be blamed for what the mom decided to do after she has finally taken the steps to straighten her life. The relatives and the boyfriend also need to understand that the strained relationship has an emotional effect on the OP too.

It wasn't a wise decision to start a family, especially since the mother is still mentally unstable.

May