OP's sister plans to visit Disney World for OP's birthday, and OP considers bringing only her well-behaved older daughter, Milly, but his sister is concerned about leaving the younger daughter, Mara, behind to avoid making her feel betrayed.
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OP suggested leaving Mara with her dad during the Disney World trip because she had tantrums and didn't enjoy the rides on their previous trip, and OP wanted a more enjoyable experience without interruptions.
OP loves both girls equally, but they have different preferences for crowded and structured settings.
OP's sister may want a Disney World trip with just the two of them to fully enjoy it without the kids to supervise.
It's not OP's responsibility to entertain her older child.
Inviting one niece and not the other may create unnecessary problems and feelings of exclusion
Either leave both of them at home or take both of them with you
It's better to either take both girls on the trip or not take either.
OP is clearly favoring one child over the others and not considering his sister's feelings.
It would be unfair to bring one of the kids and not the other, and it might lead to problems when she returns home.
OP should consider kids' feelings.
It's best to go as two adults and not suggest taking just one sibling
OP shouldn't create a negative atmosphere for his nieces.
OP wants to have a great and stress-free time at Disney World for his birthday. But we should think carefully before deciding to leave Mara behind.
OP's sister worries that Mara might feel left out or hurt if she's not included. So, it's important to figure out a solution that makes both kids feel special and not like one is being favored over the other.
Instead of leaving Mara out completely, OP could think about other options. Maybe they can pick rides and activities that both kids can enjoy. Or they could find ways to make sure Mara feels comfortable and happy while OP and his sister have fun in the park.
The most important thing is to make sure everyone has a good time and nobody feels left out or upset.