AITA For Giving My Daughter's Freeloading Boyfriend 30 Days To Move Out?

A father reaches his breaking point with his daughter's ungrateful boyfriend—house rules are about to change.

Davy

• Published in Interesting
• May 15, 2024

Navigating the complexities of family dynamics and house rules, a 50-year-old father finds himself in a challenging predicament. Since 2021, his 21-year-old daughter and her 24-year-old boyfriend have been living under his roof, enjoying the comforts of a rent-free life complete with paid utilities and zero living expenses.

Additionally, the boyfriend is employed at the father's business, benefiting from regular work hours and transportation to and from work. Despite these privileges, tensions rise when the boyfriend continually refuses to engage cooperatively in household and work-related responsibilities, prompting the father to question the arrangement.

Frustrated by the boyfriend's nonchalant attitude and lack of contribution, the father decides it's time for a change. Declaring that the boyfriend has 30 days to find a new place to live, he maintains his daughter's welcome in the home, signaling a tough-love approach to what he sees as a freeloading issue.

The Story...

He took a loan out for $9K.

I just left him at work. I decided I was done.

She will always be welcome in my home.

"Not my problem".

This incident highlights the often difficult decisions parents must make when they feel taken advantage of by those close to them. Below, we'll explore reactions from readers who weigh in with their perspectives on whether the father's actions were justified or if there might have been a better way to handle the situation.

Shared living space is very different from a tenant situation. If you share the kitchen or bathroom, that's very different from an isolated apartment. So yes, make sure you have the law on your side.

If you want to tank your relationships with your fellow coworkers who have to pick up the slack sure. It's not a good look when one person selfishly refuses to chip in their share.

It is indeed very problematic.

He's paid for a overclocked system from a system builder

12k computer, he ain't running no Wi-Fi on that.

Exactly!!! The guy is paying what OP asked for - nothing- and being penalized at home for work conduct that doesn’t have a penalty at work. If OP wants rent, savings goals, a deadline to move out, etc., he could have asked at any time and really should have. He has the right to evict anyone he doesn’t want in his home, but it sounds like he’s been letting resentments build up without addressing them and going right to the nuclear option, which (absent a threat to safety or security) is AH behavior.

The dude is mooching and terrible with money and needs to move out

A gamer who uses the internet and has a 12k gaming set-up is not off the grid lol. But definitely NTA.

He sounds like a gaming addict.

YTA.

I agree that he’s a mooch and he spends money poorly, but if you kick him out

YTA. He may be in the wrong for not offering to contribute, but it's genuinely abusive to hold housing over an employee's head to force them into working overtime. These things are not comparable.

What are your thoughts on this father’s decision to evict his daughter’s boyfriend from their home? Was it a necessary step to teach responsibility, or could the situation have been handled with more grace? How would you navigate similar challenges in your own household?

Share your opinions and discuss any actions you might consider if faced with this kind of family dilemma.

Davy