Man Accused Of Not Being Supportive After Telling Friend She Can't Find A Date Because Her Dating Profile Focuses On Relationship With Her Cat

"I said most men are not going to be willing to compete with a cat for her attention"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• December 7, 2023

In a world where loneliness is an increasingly common struggle, many people find solace in the companionship of pets. These furry friends often become an integral part of our lives, providing comfort and stability through life's ups and downs.

This bond, however, can sometimes create unique challenges, especially in the realm of dating and relationships. This brings us to a story from Reddit, where a man, aged 35, shares a dilemma involving his 30-year-old friend.

She ended a relationship just before the pandemic, a period that hit her hard. To cope with the isolation, she adopted a cat, forming an incredibly strong bond with her new companion.

As the world started to open up, she decided to dip back into dating using a dating app. However, her profile prominently features her cat, including a bold statement: “You will NEVER be as important to me as my cat, so you must be comfortable with coming in second.”

Unsurprisingly, her dating experience has been less than ideal. The few matches she's made haven't been the type of men she's looking for.

Feeling discouraged, she opened up about her struggles during a catch-up with OP. He suggested toning down the cat-centric content and rephrasing her blunt statement, believing it might be off-putting to potential suitors.

However, she insisted on being upfront about her priorities, leading to a disagreement where she accused him of not being supportive. OP is left wondering if he's in the wrong for his advice, asking Reddit, "Am I the asshole for suggesting she change her dating profile?"

OP's friend broke up with her partner just before the pandemic, to cope with loneliness during the pandemic, she adopted a cat, which became a source of comfort and sanity during the difficult times.

Recently, she started using a dating app, where she mentions in her bio that her cat comes first. However, she's had trouble finding suitable matches on the app.

OP suggested her she tone down the cat references, and she got upset, calling him an a-hole.

OP is correct; she doesn't need to warn people that she may prioritize her cat over them, as it gives the impression of being a 'crazy cat lady,'

Some guys like cats, but it's off-putting when someone prioritizes their cat over a potential partner.

You don't have to disclose every true detail on your dating profile.

It's possible to love pets and include that in your profile without making it seem like your pet is more important than potential partners.

OP's efforts were commendable, and that's all he could do.

It's not okay to prioritize the cat over someone else in a relationship.

While she loves her cat, she should understand that in a long-term relationship, people want to feel cared about and valued rather than being told that the cat is more important.

OP's suggestion about cats was good, but his friend didn't want to hear it.

OP is doing the right thing as a good friend by sharing some tough but necessary advice with her.

She should be aware that many people are avoiding her due to this attitude.

OP in this situation did nothing wrong. He was just trying to be a good friend. His friend had a dating profile that mentioned how important her cat was to her, and this was making it hard for her to find a date.

OP suggested toning down the cat stuff on the profile, hoping it would help her find a better match. OP's advice came from a good place, wanting to help.

He was being honest with her and trying to make her dating experience better. So, OP did nothing wrong, and the friend should appreciate their honesty and kindness.

It's all about finding the right balance between personal priorities and trying to connect with potential partners when it comes to dating profiles.

Damjan