Man Doesn't Know How To Tell His Son That He's Not His Biological Dad, Asks Advice Online

"He’s my son no matter what but also I feel like he has a right to know he has a biological father that isn’t me."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• September 16, 2023

In a challenging and sensitive situation, OP, a devoted father, faces the dilemma of how to share a significant revelation with his 7-year-old son. As a single parent since his son was just two years old, he's nurtured a deep bond, and they often hear remarks about their striking resemblance.

However, recent information has stirred questions about paternity, leaving him with a difficult decision. The unexpected disclosure came from his late ex-partner's sister, who had harbored doubts about the child's parentage.

While paternity wasn't a concern for OP, the revelation has shaken his world. His desire to uncover the truth led to a paternity test, which confirmed a biological connection to another man previously unknown to him. This man, however, has chosen not to be part of the child's life.

Now, OP grapples with a crucial challenge - how to disclose this complex information to his young son. He is determined not to let it become a hidden secret, one that might someday be revealed by others.

OP believes that his son has a right to know the truth about his biological heritage, even if the biological father has chosen to remain distant.

OP's priority is to convey this revelation in an age-appropriate manner, ensuring that his son understands that he will always be his loving and supportive dad, regardless of biology.

OP, a single parent, faced questions about his son's paternity from his late ex's sister. This disclosure prompted a paternity examination, which verified that OP's son shared a biological connection with another man. However, the biological father opted not to play a role in the child's life.

The OP has been struggling with the dilemma of how to inform his son about the presence of a biological father who is not him.

OP could seek professional therapy or professional guidance for handling such situations

OP should consider therapy to help him deal with a substantial revelation he's experienced.

It's better to tell a child he's adopted sooner rather than later and to not overly dramatize the revelation

OP could consider consulting a child therapist for support in navigating a challenging dialogue.

There are resources available that OP can utilize, such as books and cartoons, which can be helpful in facilitating discussions about various kinds of families.

If a father wants nothing to do with his child, OP should consider consulting a lawyer to explore the possibility of adoption

OP needs to consult a child psychologist and making a plan to communicate this information in an age-appropriate manner

The child is too young to understand complex family dynamics

OP needs to use everyday conversations as opportunities to gradually introduce the fact that he is not the child's biological father.

OP should consult a lawyer to explore the option of the other party voluntarily relinquishing their parental rights, just to prevent potential changes of mind by the other party in the future.

OP (the dad) is doing the right thing by telling his child the truth about who their real biological dad is. It's also a smart idea for the dad to talk to a child expert, like a child psychologist.

They can help him figure out the best way to talk to his child about this, taking into account how old the child is and how they might feel. And it's a good move to talk to a lawyer, too.

This makes sure that legally, the dad is recognized as the child's real dad, and it prevents any problems in the future. It means the other biological dad can't suddenly change his mind and cause confusion and upset for the child.

So, getting everything sorted out legally can protect both the dad and the child from any troubles down the road.

Damjan