Man Doesn't Want His Almost-Divorced Dad’s Girlfriend To Meet His Kids

"My dad learned my mom has been cheating on him for the last 15 years. So he gets a girlfriend.

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• August 26, 2023

Divorce is a complicated and often painful experience that reverberates through a family. The end of a marriage isn't just a legal or logistical process; it's an emotional upheaval that affects not just the couple involved but also their children and even their grandchildren.

Navigating life after a split, especially within the family, involves a series of choices that can either help heal or further contribute to existing wounds. It's a time of change, a resetting of what "family" means, and often, new relationships are formed as people move on.

However, the introduction of new romantic partners can bring its own set of challenges. For children of divorce, whether young or adult, seeing a parent start a new relationship can be jarring.

It can provoke a range of emotions from jealousy to confusion, and that's just for the immediate children. When you add grandchildren into the mix, the situation becomes even more complex.

Young kids may not understand the dynamics of divorce and new relationships, and the introduction of a new figure can be confusing or unsettling. Take the case of OP, a 31-year-old man whose parents are getting a divorce.

His dad wants to introduce his new girlfriend to OP's young kids, and OP isn't so sure that's a good idea. Here's why he might have a point. OP found out that his mom had been cheating on his dad for 15 years.

Fast forward a little, and his dad has a new girlfriend by July. Now, Dad is keen on bringing her over to meet OP's kids, who are just three years old and six-months-old.

But OP and his wife want to hit the brakes. They haven't even met this woman yet, and they're not ready to introduce her to their kids.

OP even offered to meet her first, without the kids, but his dad didn't go for it.

OP asks:

OP is a 31-year-old man whose parents are getting a divorce. His dad wants to introduce his new girlfriend to OP's young kids, and OP isn't so sure that's a good idea.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

This is what Redditors had to say about this situation:

"Stick to your boundaries and only do things when you and your wife are comfortable with it."

"Ready made grandchildren to play with."

OP should keep the kids far away from his parents’ toxicity.

"The kids shouldn't be forced to meet their grandfather's new gf"

Meeting an endless line of significant others can be damaging for the kids

OP is right for wanting to meet this GF alone first

Parents of young children have the right to decide who will be around them and on what terms

The bottom line is - their decision is final

It's clear that OP's dad is moving fast. While it's understandable that he wants to move on, it seems like he's not thinking about how this could affect everyone else.

His family is still adjusting to the fact that he and OP's mom are splitting up. Adding a new person to the mix so quickly might make a complicated situation even messier.

Secondly, OP's kids are really young. They're still trying to make sense of the world, and introducing a new person as a "grandparent" could be confusing.

P and his wife want to be cautious about who gets close to their kids, and that's completely reasonable. They've offered to meet the new girlfriend first, which sounds like a sensible first step.

It's also worth noting that OP and his wife are on the same page about this. That's important.

They're working together to protect their family during a pretty rocky time. They're trying to do what's best for their kids, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Damjan