Teenager Defies Her Father's Wish And Attends Her Late Mom's Funeral, Terms Her Actions Selfish And Seeks Opinion Online

"Your mother's family are sorting it, leave them to it"

Maryjane

• Published in Animal Stories
• July 24, 2023

Anyone can be shocked and in disbelief after learning that their mother has terminal cancer. Whether you lost a parent while you were a teenager or as an adult, getting older doesn't make the sadness go away.

Simply because of where you were when your mother passed away, it might have hurt differently for you. Depending on your age at the time you received the news, a cancer diagnosis may require you to make preparations for losing a parent as a teenager or an independent adult.

Once you receive a terminal diagnosis, you can anticipate a significant change in your life. You'll need to learn coping mechanisms for both getting ready for her passing and for the day the illness finally takes her life.

Sometimes, getting ready for your mother's death is just as challenging as grieving for her. Even before her death actually occurs, you could experience anxiety and depression due to your expectations of it.

OP's mother passed away in the hospital after she had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. OP took it very badly because of how close she and the mother were.

When the OP further questioned him, he eventually told her that neither he nor she was going to the funeral. This caused a huge argument, and the OP cut complete contact with him and then moved in with her boyfriend's family.

Read all about it below. 

The headline

OP's mom had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a year or so before she died

The OP went to her mother's funeral as she had wanted to and with the full support of her boyfriend

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I completely cut all contact with my father after calling him several selfish names because he told me that i was not allowed to my mothers funeral, i feel like im the asshole for not asking further questions about why I couldn't go and instead just completely lost my cool with him.

Here are a bunch of the top comments from other Redditors in response to the story

It is yours and yours alone

This Redditor also lost their parent early and no one stepped in for the aftermath

OP's father could have worked on the relationship he had with the OP

The OP should be wary as he can call the cops and have her home

OP's dad is an AH for trying to stop the OP

This redditor is so sorry for what happened to the OP

This redditor can't imagine not being allowed to attend his own funeral

The conflicts of the OP's dad and his inlaws are not the OP's problems

If possible, some redditors advised the OP to take actions to be allowed to remain with her mother's family legally. Unless there is concrete evidence that the father is unfit to serve as a guardian, it will be very challenging to remain with her boyfriend's family.

But in order to position herself in the best possible legal position, she must act rapidly before he does. She was declared not the AH.

Maryjane