Reddit User Struggles with Dad's Ultimatum for Wedding Guests - He Won't Attend If His Daughter Comes

"He told me my life would be ruined"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• October 3, 2023

When family members have problems they don't solve, it's not just them who suffer. Their arguments can affect other people who aren't part of the fight. Even folks who want nothing to do with the argument can get pulled into the mess.

OP, who is on the verge of anger, had a phone call that left him shaken. His half-sister (34F) and her husband owe their dad $1200 for past repairs and a truck sold five years ago. Although OP still maintains a relationship with them, his dad has disowned both of them due to lingering grudges worsened by alcoholism.

OP invited both his sister and her husband to his wedding without much thought. However, his dad threatened not to attend if they were present, leading to a tense situation.

His dad even used financial leverage, threatening OP's phone bill and family car insurance. He turned OP's grandma against him and insisted, "It's your choice."

Despite explaining that his dad's grudges aren't his concern and that the choice lies with his dad, the situation remains unresolved. OP faces a dilemma: should he uninvite his sister and her husband, try to resolve the debt issue, or sever ties with his dad?

In a recent twist, his dad claims that his mom and grandma won't attend and warns OP that he'll "lose everything." OP, a full-time worker, is unsure how this financial threat will play out. Additionally, his dad has insisted that OP retrieve his belongings from their house, or they'll be discarded this weekend.

The OP's father has severed ties with the OP's half-sister and her spouse. When the OP extended an invitation to them for their wedding, the father warned that he might not attend if the half-sister also came.

OP's father is turning the wedding into a platform for his resentments, using financial and emotional threats against OP.

OP's father has escalated to the point of issuing threats to dispose of OP's belongings from the house.

OP should consider uninviting his father

If he chooses not to come, that's on him, not OP or his sister.

OP's dad seems manipulative and chaotic

OP's wedding, OP's guest list.

If he decides not to come, it's his decision, not OP

OP should visit his grandmother and mother separately, express his love, and explain the importance of his wedding

OP needs to cut off financial ties with someone causing drama and stress

OP needs to consider distancing himself from him due to his behavior.

OP should cut ties with the controlling person

OP finds himself in an awkward and emotionally charged situation. However, it's essential to remember that OP extended invitations to both his father and sister to celebrate his wedding.

The decision of whether to attend or not ultimately lies with them. OP should stand firm in maintaining these invitations.

It's not within his father's purview to dictate who should or shouldn't be present at his wedding. If his father chooses not to attend, that is entirely his decision, and OP has every right to be disappointed and upset by it.

Still, he should not allow his father's choices to determine the guest list for this significant milestone. This is OP's special day, and he should surround himself with those he cares about and who want to share in his joy.

Damjan