30 Parents Give Compelling Arguments That Children Might Be Evil By Sharing The Creepiest Things Their Kids Have Said

If kids were proven to be evil, that would probably explain a lot.

Elana

• Published in Funny
• October 19, 2021

UK based radio producer Dan Schreiber caused quite the ruckus recently when he turned to Twitter to share something his 3-year old child said to him at bedtime... it was creepy. As things tend to go, conversation wise at least, on Twitter, thousands of people responded with their own instances of creepy children.

What makes children so creepy anyway? Apparently, because children are still developing physically and psychologically they come off entirely too unpredictable, and we don't like not being able to predict things.

Interestingly, though, more often than not it's what kids say that's insanely creepy, especially when it's our own kids. Language development is really interesting, but we certainly couldn't prepare for some of the 'off-the-wall' things kids say, especially when it's nightmare fuel.

Schreiber is an entertainer, but he may not have realized what horror he was releasing into the Twitter-verse and thus the extended space known as the Internet... but unleashed horror is precisely what happened. Kids are creepy, after all.

How many people will read these tweets of kids being seriously creepy and decide that kids are evil? If it's a lot... most of them will probably also be parents (because nobody knows how creepy kids can be better than the humans tasked with raising them!)

The tweet that started it all:

1. Nope, don't like that.

2. THEM WHO

3. That's nice, dear.

4. That's at least a little wholesome

5. Well, that sucks.

The most common first syllable pronounced by babies is "ma," followed by "pa/ba/ta/da" soon after. For this reason, most languages have a version of "mother" that also begins with the "m" sound.

Famous linguist Larry Trask explained that these earliest articulations (like ma and ba) are probably just playful for the infant "but are interpreted by parents as attempts by the baby to address them." In most cases (but not all,) mothers are the early and main caregivers of infants, the first syllable infants almost universally utter was adopted by mothers as an attempt for babies to address them.

Despite what you may see from your own infants (and what you want to see,) research suggests that infants begin to understand and respond to words closer to 12 months than anything else. Your 4-month old infant is adorable but they're just babbling at you.

6. Again, NOPE. Don't like that. Where can we return children like this?

7. Precious

8. That's as beautiful as it is eerie.

9. As if it isn't bad enough when the parents get creeped out, now kids are creeping out innocent taxi drivers.

10. What a joy it must be to have two children be reincarnations! Not.

11. Sure, sure. That makes sense.

Research does show that memory development begins in the womb, and toddlers and children are capable of forming memories and holding them for "increasingly longer periods of time." However, memories formed in early childhood fade by adulthood.

It wasn't until the 1980's even that we thought toddlers retained memories at all. However, research has transformed a lot since experiments were conducted on infants and object permanence.

Slate reported: According to Patricia Bauer, a professor of psychology at Emory who studies early memory, the general consensus was that a 3-year-old child’s memory was a jumble of disorganized information, like your email inbox without any sorting function: “You can’t sort them by name, you can’t sort them by date, it’s just all your email messages.”

12. That's horrifying

13. That does sound like someting out of a horror movie.

14. Good for him.

15. Isn't that nice? No.

16. Have I mentioned "I don't like that?" Because I don't.

17. Well, there's that.

18. WTF indeed

19. In Russia? Wow.

20. That's traumatic

21. Eerily wholesome

22. Oh. Nice...

23. "Very Detailed" is what gets me

24. That's horrible imagery

25. Poor Mum

26. Long Lost Farm

27. Oh, wow.

28. No thank you, that's creepy.

https://media2.giphy.com/media/l0HlCwr75HFyXb7JC/giphy.gif

29. Creepy runs in their family

30. Nobody thought to mention this any sooner?

There's no getting around it, even under the most sentimental of circumstances, the relationship between children and the supernatural is far too creepy not to walk away with a few shivers down your spine. Thank goodness most of the time these sort of eerie shenanigans don't last, and kids outgrow their connection to the beyond.

Elana