Woman Shocked By Boyfriend's Insistence On Her Settling His Debts And Expensive Gifts , Asks If It's Normal

"I said it creeped me out being asked for specific gifts"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• February 10, 2024

In a relationship, how you both handle money can make or break things. Sometimes, if one person is spending a lot and is always in debt while the other is saving and being careful with money, it can cause a lot of stress and arguments.

This story is about someone dealing with their partner's bad spending habits, especially with buying cars, and how it's starting to cause problems between them. OP has known her boyfriend for two years, during which he has gone through four cars.

One was totaled in an accident, while the others were traded in due to his dissatisfaction. Despite financial assistance from OP, resulting in a negative equity situation, her boyfriend finds himself $12k underwater on his current car, which is from a brand known for unreliability and requires frequent, costly maintenance.

Upon discovering OP's wealth, evidenced by her home and modest car, her boyfriend began repeatedly asking if she would consider paying off the $22k loan on his current car, of which $12k is underwater. Additionally, he persists in requesting upgrades like Apple Carplay despite having received similar gifts in the past.

Recently, he broached the topic of purchasing a second vehicle, a truck, for commuting purposes, even going so far as to send her listings. Approaching his birthday, her boyfriend presented a list of requests, starting with paying off his car loan, followed by assistance with a truck purchase, and finally, the gift of Carplay.

OP found this behavior unsettling, especially the specific demands for gifts, including a suggestion for a sportbike due to its affordability. Feeling uncomfortable with the situation, OP contemplates not getting him anything for his birthday or simply treating him to a dinner outing.

It's worth noting that her boyfriend earns $65k annually and has no dependents.

In the past 2 years, OP's boyfriend has gone through 4 cars, one was wrecked in an accident, but he trades in the others because he gets tired of them, and each time, he ends up owing more than the car is worth.

He discovered by chance after they began dating that OP is wealthy.

He keeps pressuring OP to pay off his $22k car loan, $12k still remaining, and buy Apple Carplay for $600 despite the car already having phone-connected music.

He wants OP to help him buy a truck for commuting to work and he sent her links to listings.

He's asking for specific birthday gifts, like paying off a debt, a truck, or Carplay, and lastly, he suggested a sportbike as a cheaper option.

OP is considering not getting him a gift for his birthday, possibly only opting for a dinner outing.

OP's boyfriend is using her for money, treating her like an ATM to cover for his irresponsible spending.

This behavior may continue, and it's hard to tell if he genuinely cares about OP or just enjoys having a rich partner.

OP needs to reconsider her relationship with her boyfriend, the boyfriend may be using her for financial gain.

OP should find a real boyfriend, not someone mistaking her for a wealthy aunt.

He makes poor financial choices and treats her like an ATM.

He seems to value material wealth over genuine connection.

He's bad with money and disrespectful.

He's financially irresponsible and will likely rely on OP to bail him out, especially if she gets married.

It looks like OP's boyfriend might just be using her for her money. He keeps asking her to pay for things and doesn't seem to care much about her feelings.

Instead of treating her like a partner, he treats her like a walking bank account. This behavior isn't fair to OP, and she deserves better.

She should think about whether this relationship is right for her because she deserves someone who respects her and cares about her for who she is, not just for what she can give them.

Damjan