Woman's Boyfriend Asks Her To Cook A 4-Hour Meal But Forgets To Mention That She's Not Invited To The Dinner With His Friends

Is she so wrong for assuming that she can eat the food they made together?

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• May 7, 2022

Dating is really difficult, sure, it's more accessible but's definitely not easy to find someone you're compatible with. So, when you do find someone who gets you, it feels like winning a game you didn't know you were playing.

A young woman posted on Reddit about finding a person who shares her passion for food and cooking. However, their sweet relationship turned sour because of a misunderstanding about food.

They've been dating for about a year and they recently hung out. During the date, they had some minor issues which they resolved after discussing and OP (original poster) stayed at his place because her house is in another city.

The next day, the guy asked OP if she wanted to cook a nice meal with him. It's something they enjoy doing together and OP accepted, assuming that it was an offer to make up for the less than stellar date the night before.

OP was excited about the prospect of spending quality time with each other and sharing a good meal. They went to the supermarket to shop for ingredients for the 4-hour meal they were about to make.

Casually, the guy mentions: "Yeah, by the way, help remind me to save you some food so you can have some as well." OP was confused and asked what he meant by "save you some food."

OP's date was apparently having some friends over and while OP will help him cook, she was not invited to the dinner.

OP was quiet after learning this because she was understandably upset. She was looking forward to cooking good food with him and eating together after their disastrous date.

OP said she felt stupid and unimportant for thinking they were going to eat together. The guy was also irritated at OP for making assumptions that she was invited to his dinner (that he never mentioned).

He was also annoyed that OP got distant and quiet after hearing the information. OP said she was upset for not being informed that she was not invited to eat the food that she was going to cook.

She acknowledged that she should communicate better when she's upset about something instead of avoiding it. However, she still feels that the guy should have given her all the facts about the meal and his dinner plans before inviting her to cook but not eat.

Is OP wrong for assuming she was invited to dinner after cooking the meal? Read her full story below:

So, fast forward:

"I felt stupid and unimportant."

"He is normally a great person." (Does anyone have a bridge to sell OP?)

OP said they didn't end up cooking together and they're not really "together-together." They've been seeing each other but not exclusively.

He's also not hiding her from his friends since she has met some of them and enjoyed their company

He deliberately misled OP into believing she was invited to a meal that she will be cooking and then got mad at her for misunderstanding something he never mentioned? GURL.

He should have asked clearly, that's on him. OP being upset is also valid, she may have had issues communicating why but she was entitled to her feelings.

Since it's an open relationship, this is also a possibility. But, if they were honest with each other, why did he not mention that?

It wasn't even a factor, OP says

Could he be using OP's cooking skills?

This clarification from OP was downvoted to hell by other redditors

Anyone in the same situation would have assumed the same thing

His gaslighting made OP feel crazy

As if it was you that was in the wrong

Unless you're paid, then what OP assumed was correct

This comparison is perfect!

Shame on you, OP's date!

Therefore, OP's date is an...

Dump him! Immediately!

He probably would have acted how much hard work it took to make the amazing food

If he wanted a favor, he should have asked clearly and all this would have been avoided

He was definitely exploiting OP's love for cooking

How about you do this free labor for me so we can chalk up last night as a bad date. No matter how you frame it, he's just a jerk.

Informing OP while at the grocery was probably a slip up

Fact: OP deserves someone or multiple someones better than this guy

Shady indeed

He's trying to evade responsibility over a technicality that he never explicitly invited OP. Then, he got mad when she assumed she could eat the food she cooked. How did this make sense to him?

Unless OP is his personal chef, then his reasoning doesn't make sense

It's a good thing that this wasn't a conventional monogamous relationship. OP has a better chance of leaving this guy should she want it.

There's no reason for her to think that she was in the wrong here. The guy she was dating was too good at making her feel at fault that she started to doubt herself; we echo the call, dump him, OP!

Chelsi