Young Woman Wants To Know If She'll Be The AH For Not Informing Her Controlling Parents About A Trip With Her BF

"They are often calling me selfish and not caring because I don’t want to do as they want"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• January 25, 2023

Are your parents still interfering in your life? Perhaps your mother constantly expresses displeasure over your actions.

Or perhaps your father is the one in charge because he keeps reminding you every time you see him that you made the wrong job decision. A controlling parenting approach involves one or both parents keeping a close eye on their children's lives and getting too involved in every aspect of it.

These kinds of parents frequently place their personal wants before those of their children. While some parents might grow out of this behavior as the child gets older, others never do and the pattern of behavior persists well into adulthood.

Growing up, we all require direction and support, but control is something entirely different. Meet u/elryche, a redditor who lives abroad with her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend is going to Spain to work for 3 weeks there, and she has the option to join him for a week there. The OP is super excited about this, but she's struggling with how to tell it to her parents, who are controlling.

The OP also mentioned that her mom has some narcissistic traits and that she's going to therapy for them. The OP is a bit worried that her parents will find out the truth somehow, but on the other hand, she doesn't think they will.

Find out what happens as you read the full story below. 

The Title

The OP's parents wanted her to fly back home to dog sit for a week while they go skiing

The OP is thinking about lying and just telling them that she's going to Spain with her work

Keep scrolling to read through what other redditors had to say about the story

This Redditor is telling the OP to do whatever she wants

According to this Redditor, they are unreasonable people

You are a full grown up person

Keeping a narcissist at bay

You don't have to run your decisions by your parents

You don't need to make excuses for not pet sitting

You can do what you like cos you're an adult

This Redditor doesn't understand why the OP needs to run the trip by her parents

They need to be put on strict information diet

You're not used to going against them

It's literally none of their business

This Redditor wants to know how the OP's parents will know

You don't have to agree with me

This Redditor doesn't think this should be an issue

You shouldn't have to fly another city to dog sit

Don't post about it on social media

This needs to be a gradual process

You do not have to tell them anything

It's okay to have boundaries with jerks

When our parents are overbearing or controlling, we are deprived of the freedom to form a positive sense of self, and those implications might be harmful. We could find it difficult to have confidence in our own talents.

Or, if we received a lot of criticism, we might have struggled to assert ourselves and stand up for our own needs because we felt inadequate in some manner.

Maryjane