Frustrated Redditor Asks How To Tell Her MIL She Can't Cook Christmas Dinner At Their Home And Avoid Unwanted Obligations

"I know I will end up cooking and cleaning all day, which wasn't on my to-do list"

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• November 19, 2023

Christmas is a special holiday in every family. Usually, it's an opportunity for all the family members to gather and enjoy some pleasant time together.

Some families like to hold the celebration only between the closest family members, while others tend to expand it and gather as many relatives as they can. Either way, there is no rule about Christmas dinner, so everyone should enjoy it as they want.

But, if family members don't agree on how their Christmas dinner should look like and how many relatives they would invite, it could be a problem. The OP explained that her mother-in-law has been renovating her kitchen since April and recently informed them that she might need to use their kitchen for Christmas dinner preparations if hers is not finished.

The MIL wants to host 16 people, including the OP's brother-in-law, his wife, and her family, though no one likes her family. So, the OP's husband has explicitly stated that these guests are not welcome in their home.

Recently, the OP's husband told the OP that MIL confirmed the need to use their kitchen on Friday for preparations and Saturday for cooking without directly contacting the OP. But the OP doesn't want to host dinner because she knows she would handle most of the cooking and cleaning.

Besides, she is frustrated by the MIL's lack of planning for transporting the meal. The OP and her husband believe that the responsibility will likely fall on the OP.

The OP wants to refuse MIL's request, feeling that she should have ensured her kitchen was ready if she wanted to host. Additionally, the OP prefers simpler festivities, like a barbecue, but feels obligated to comply with her MIL's wishes due to past financial help from her in-laws.

The OP believes she should have the right to say no but doesn't want to disrupt the holiday plans for 16 guests.

Here is the OP's dilemma:

The OP explained her MIL started renovating the kitchen and might not finish it until Christmas:

Finally, the OP's husband informed her that MIl would need to use their kitchen to prepare food for 16 people:

But, the OP explained she is not happy about it:

She would like to refuse MIL's request but feels obligated due to her in-law's financial help earlier:

So, she asks for advice regarding her dilemma:

One Redditor said the OP should have told her earlier

The OP explained they didn't know for sure if MIL was going to need their kitchen

A Redditor said they believe the OP doesn't want advice

One Redditor suggested the OP's husband could help

But the OP said she doesn't want to ruin his holiday either

"Don't make this your issue"

The OP explained it's already her issue

Redditors told the OP that it would be rude to tell MIL at the last minute that she can't use their kitchen. They believe the couple should have told her earlier that they don't like the idea of cooking in their home.

They also told the OP she could go out while her MIL prepared all the food.

Filip