Newly-Wed Wife Clashes With Husband For Choosing To Spend Christmas With His Kids Over Her Own Family

“I feel like I'll always play second fiddle to his kids.”

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• November 20, 2023

Our narrator (Original Poster) tied the knot earlier this year with her 38-year-old beau, a divorced father of four. Though the union came with promises, it also brought the challenges of a blended family.

OP’s husband had a longstanding agreement with his ex-wife—to spend all holidays together with their kids. She didn’t know just how deeply rooted this commitment would be until they both sat down to discuss plans for the festive season.

All she wanted was for her husband to get better acquainted with her family, as he had only met them twice. Was it really a big deal to miss one Christmas amongst many with his kids?

Instead, he proposed OP spend Christmas with him and the kids. But OP already envisioned a kid-free haven of relaxation. She pushed back against the idea of juggling children-related stress during the festivities.

He finally called his ex-wife and informed her there might be a change of plans this holiday. Things got dramatic as the kids threw a fit over the possibility of not seeing their dad.

The whole back and forth became exhausting, so OP raised the white flag and decided to just go alone. Oh, but he wasn’t having any of it; he insisted he wanted a holiday with his lovely wife and adorable kids—most importantly, he didn’t want to choose. 

This was their first Christmas together, and OP was hoping it would be just the two of them. Was she wrong for wanting him to choose?

Let’s dig into the details

A little background

OP wants her and her husband to spend Christmas together, but she doesn’t want him to have to choose between her and his kids

Here’s how the Reddit community reacted to the story:

“YTA… You either come to terms with the fact that you now have a family, and act accordingly, or you leave.”

“It’s not just you. He has kids. They’re never going away. It was a package deal.“

“YTA… You should have given more thought to this relationship before getting on board.”

“YTA. Did you just expect the children to never appear at all during your marriage?“

“YTA…His kids will always come first in regards to being able to spend time with them, especially holidays.”

“YTA and I hope husband kept his divorce attorney on retainer.”

“He will choose his kids over you every time. That’s what fathers do. Put their children first.“

“It may not be a ‘big deal’ to you that he doesn't see his kids for one year, but it's a BIG DEAL to his kids who now won't see their dad.“

Important edit

Redditors are not with OP on this one. Her husband was simply being a good parent. The kids are very young (aged 4-9), and at that age, Christmas really matters.

Sure, she decided not to have kids, but she went into this marriage with her eyes wide open. The sooner OP comes to terms with the fact that this is a package deal, the less conflict they’d have in the future. 

What do you think about this story? Let us know in the comments. 

Jesse