Weird Things People Used To Do In Their Childhoods That Seemed Perfectly Normal At The Time

Some people go through some weird phases, man.

Ayoub

• Published in Funny
• January 25, 2019

When you're a kid sometimes you have to make a couple of random interpretations of a lot of things while using your current underdeveloped reasoning skills and logic, which ends up creating a couple of hilarious theories and facts that seem perfectly reasonable at the time, but as soon as you grow up you start realizing how hilarious they really are.

Some kids go through some of the weirdest phases but they eventually grow out of them. The people in the stories below have some of the most hilarious and entertaining stories ever, you won't believe how some people used to see the world.

When I was little I was terrified spiders would eat me while I was sleeping on the top bunk, so my parents had this cool contraption that was a 'spider-trap-setter'. They’d bring it in at bedtime, I’d point it around the room, and click the handle to set a ton of spider traps each night so I could sleep. Fast forward to my fiancé and I registering for wedding gifts – he scanned a wine bottle opener (with the corkscrew and the arms that go up and down) and I immediately recognized it as a spider-trap-setter. It only then dawned on me that I’d been LIED TO,

In my family, it is a tradition that if somebody bends over they are going to get a swat on the behind. I figured out pretty young that this wasn't "normal" but continued the tradition anyway. At least until my son was about 4 or 5, and we were at the grocery store. A lady in the aisle in front of us dropped her can of pears, and I'll be damned if my lil' rascal didn't run up all excited and swat her on the butt. She spun around with a shocked expression while I made apology after mortified apology. She was cool though. She laughed and said, "It's okay, honey. That's the cutest guy that's swatted me on the butt in a long time." Props to her, but we still discontinued the practice at home after that.

Growing up, whenever I would eat bananas my mouth would always hurt and sometimes go numb. Kind of similar to how it feels if you eat too much sour candy. It wasn't until I was 18 years old that I say to my mom 'Man, I hate the way bananas make your mouth hurt.' She then brought me to understand THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. So yeah, turns out I'm allergic to bananas.

When I was a kid I had a tiny Sony stereo for cassettes. I really loved listening to music - and still do - and children's stories. I would however only listen for like an hour or so a day, because I thought people inside the cassettes would become to tired and upset with me.

I was probably 12 or so before I realized that not all kids spend their entire summer vacation farming. I spent my summer days weeding, picking veggies, tending hogs, cattle, chickens and I enjoyed every minute of it!

My mom and aunt were identical twins. My aunt lived with us from the time I was born until first grade. I never realized until I started Kindergarten that not everyone had two moms that looked exactly the same and one dad. What a shocker.

For the first two or three years after I was potty trained, I thought that everyone peed standing up. So there I was, a little girl with impeccable aim.

On long road trips, my parents would tell my brother and I that if we closed our eyes, we'd get there faster. Believing them, we would close our eyes and eventually fall alseep. Magically, when we woke up we were almost there, and parents got a nice quiet drive with no kids fighting! Well played parents. Well played. Also used to think the windshield wipers magically knew when it was time to clear the windshield. Wasn't til I started driving that I learned about intermittent wipers.

My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"? I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.

We used to lift up our table and say "hrrrmp" every day before dinner as a family. I though everyone did it.... I found out it was only us a a friends place for dinner...

I grew up in the country and firmly believed that ice cream trucks were myths and that they only existed on TV shows.

As a child I really loved Green Mint Ice cream sauce. Me and my brother and two sisters couldn't get enough of it and would always ask for more. It wasn't until I was about 25 that I noticed it was always stocked in the alcohol section of the supermarket. When I bought this up with my partner he found it really funny. My beloved "ice cream topping" was in fact Crème de menthe, mint liquor. My parents had been giving us booze, Maybe it kept us four kids quite for 10 minutes!. It will aways be Green Mint ice cream sauce to me!

When I was in kindergarten, I wore my Batman costume to school EVERY DAY! Under clothes, over clothes, rain or shine. Since my mom wasn't the type to crush my dreams of saving Gotham City or to enforce gender roles on me, I was free to be Batman(without judgement) until the middle of first grade when the other girls stopped wanting to play with me.

We lived right outside NYC when I was young and whenever I'd be watching a movie or TV where they can see stars in the sky at night I thought it was fake because, Duh, you can't see stars from the Earth! We moved to North Carolina when I was 9 and it blew me away that you can actually see stars there. Another fun consequence of NYC light pollution was that I also thought rain and snow clouds were brown at night - because of the orange street lights.

I thought every person who get's killed in TV actually dies on set. I thought people, who weren't happy with their lives, would volunteer to die for the movie. I always wondered, how they could find so many suicidal people who were also good actors.

Ayoub