Woman Seeks Advice As She Wants To Cancel The Christmas Vacation She Planned For Her Ungrateful Husband And His Twin

"At this point, I’m considering canceling it entirely"

Maryjane

• Published in Christmas
• November 25, 2023

Knowing that you are not acknowledged can be painful. It could appear like you're being ignored while you're feeling this way.

Furthermore, you could feel as though your efforts are underappreciated and unnoticed when others don't appear to notice. Being underappreciated in a relationship can be very distressing since we all want to feel that our partner appreciates us and all that we do to keep the relationship going.

It's genuinely devastating when you devote a lot of time and energy to taking care of someone else and they don't reciprocate. If you don't feel valued in a relationship, it can even feel like your spouse has betrayed you.

The OP of today's story feels that way and she's unsure about how to proceed after planning numerous unappreciated vacations for her husband and his twin. She went further saying:

For our wedding I did 99% of the planning and he promised in return that he would plan a honeymoon. Right before the wedding he looked up a Costco package that was almost twice as expensive as we’d agreed to spend, and that didn’t have guaranteed spots. What I really wanted him to do was not to find an all-inclusive unaffordable trip (that we didn’t go on) but do something that was tailored to us.

This is one of the many unappreciated things the OP has done and now she's tired. She's considering canceling vacations entirely, canceling her own portion, or canceling one or both of their portions and going solo.

The OP writes

OP plans their retirement, keep track of finances, host friends/family, arrange gifts amongst other things

Like OP's husband, his twin doesn’t help plan and he had never thanked her

OP has planned and booked an elaborate three week Christmas trip to Italy

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I’m considering canceling all of part of a three person Christmas trip on behalf of others, I might be the a-hole because everything is paid for and booked already.

The Reddit post went viral with thousands of comments and here are a bunch of them

That would be an instant dump

The only thing worse than getting a divorce

He'll make the OP do all of the childcare

The OP reveals about her family

I don’t have my own family really no, I have two older brothers but my dad died in 2012 and my mother and I are estranged (she has mental health issues). I don’t see my brothers a lot, but I’ve been thinking a lot about how I spend my time off with these two men. And how nice it would be to spend that money and time on getting to know my brothers better and setting aside more money for their kids college funds and futures.

OP's favorite comment

This Redditor's jaw dropped

OP's husband and his Incompetence

Taking her girlfriends out on a trip

Suffering stemming from a sense of unappreciation is only going to come from your significant other or someone close to you, not from a stranger or acquaintance, and it hurts more. Feeling undervalued in a relationship eventually causes serious hurt, and you could start to distance yourself from your partner.

It hasn't gotten to this point for the OP and we hope it doesn't. The OP was declared not the AH.

Maryjane