Man Asserts Boundaries With Cohabiting Girlfriend Over Unauthorized Access To His Home Office, Reminds Her That She's Just "Guest"

"She’s treating parts of my house as if it were hers, which is way past where our relationship is."

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• December 6, 2023

In relationships, especially when cohabiting, it's crucial to establish boundaries. Often, these boundaries are not just emotional but extend to physical spaces within a shared home.

However, it's not uncommon for one partner to inadvertently overstep these boundaries, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings. This scenario is at the heart of a Reddit story we recently stumbled upon.

The OP (Original Poster) of the story, a 32-year-old male, recounted his experience with his 29-year-old partner that left a sour taste in his mouth. Their relationship, which began casually, took a new turn when they started cohabiting during a city lockdown.

OP, who is accustomed to living alone in his large house, began longing for his personal space once again. But what kind of boyfriend would he be to send his lover away for no just cause? Since she was enjoying cohabiting with him, he had to put her happiness first.

On one particular day, OP's girlfriend, in a seemingly innocent quest for scrap paper, entered his home office and accidentally damaged something important. Tho he accepted her apology, he made it clear that she was not allowed into the office anymore.

Despite their agreement, OP proceeded to lock the office door on his way out the next day. To his surprise, his girlfriend called to bash him for "locking her out of parts of her own house."

Apparently, while OP saw her as his "lockdown guest", she had already settled in as a full member of the house.

This scenario raises pivotal questions about boundaries in a relationship and the rights of each couple within a shared space.

The story in detail

A bit of background

OP’s girlfriend was upset that he locked her out of his home office. But OP seemed to get irritated at the fact that she called his apartment her house

Interesting update

To address a few questions

Here’s how the Reddit community reacted to the story:

“NTA. It sounds like what you view as a temporary situation, she is looking at as officially living together.”

“NTA. She's being presumptuous and this is a pretty massive red flag that she is entitled a**hole.“

“NTA your house, you can lock whatever door you want.”

“NTA… Sounds like the two of you need a serious conversation about boundaries.”

“NAH— seems like she’s under the impression your relationship is way further along than you think it is.”

“NTA if she's staying with you then she needs to respect your rules but you also need her to feel comfortable while she is there staying.”

“NTA… You might want to revisit that initial agreement and talk to her about it.”

The relationship is over

The Reddit community unanimously agreed that OP has every right to lock his office or any other room that he wants to keep private. It’s clear that OP’s girlfriend got the impression that she was now a permanent member of the household, only to have her hopes dashed.

From all indications, OP has decided to end the relationship, as this issue exposed a part of his girlfriend that he wasn’t aware of. This may not be the resolution that most people hoped for, but it’s what is best for both parties.

We’d love to get your thoughts on this story. Join the conversation in the comments.

Jesse