Bride-To-Be Questions Whether She Should Have Insisted On Her Brother Being A Groomsman, Despite Her Fiancé Choosing His Best Friends

"AITA for not just adding my brother as a groomsman to save his feelings?"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• July 13, 2023

Wedding planning fills couples with excitement and anticipation as they envision their special day, filled with unforgettable moments. Among the many considerations, one significant aspect is the allocation of roles and responsibilities within the wedding party.

Traditionally, the bride and groom have the privilege of making these decisions, considering their personal preferences and the dynamics of their relationships. However, it is not uncommon for families to offer their opinions and desires, which may occasionally diverge from the couple's vision.

Ultimately, the wedding day belongs to the couple, who are responsible for organizing the event and determining who will be included in their wedding party. In the case of OP, a 28-year-old woman, she is planning a micro wedding with her fiancé.

Together, they decided to have a small wedding party of five individuals. Her fiancé chose his friends and brothers as his groomsmen, while OP's selection comprised her close friends and sisters. Regrettably, OP's 16-year-old brother assumed he would be included as a groomsman and was hurt when he discovered otherwise.

To involve her brother, OP offered him alternative roles in the wedding. However, her family believes she should have added him as a groomsman to her fiancé’s side. Feeling the weight of their expectations, OP questions whether she chose not to include her brother.

For OP micro wedding with a limited number of guests, OP and her fiancé decided to have a small wedding party, consisting of their closest friends and family

OP's 16-year-old brother assumed he would be a groomsman at her wedding, but when she couldn't assign him a role yet, it broke his heart

OP's family members are upset that her brother wasn't chosen as a groomsman and believe she should have added him to her fiancé's side

OP is facing criticism for not including her brothers as groomsmen

Unfair judgmen

OP's fiancé has the right to choose his own groomsmen based on his personal history and relationships

The selection of groomsmen is based on the groom's close relationships

It's irrelevant how close she is to her family, as the groom chooses his own side based on his relationships

Consider eloping and having a party/reception instead of a traditional wedding

It's not just OP's wedding

OP's family members are not considering her or her fiancé's wishes.

OP should not feel bad about the situation. Her fiancé ultimately decides who will be his groomsman, and she needs to prioritize honoring her future husband's wishes on their special day.

OP has tried to include her brother in other meaningful roles during the wedding, offering several options for his involvement. It is reasonable to expect her brother to compromise and not create additional tension for his sister during the wedding planning process.

Ultimately, the focus should be on celebrating the union of OP and her fiancé, and everyone involved should strive to support their choices and create a positive atmosphere for the joyous occasion.

Damjan