26-Year-Old Wonders If He Should Reconnect With Brother After An Old Feud About Wedding He Helped Plan But Wasn't Invited To

His brother wanted a child-free wedding, but told his then 16-year-old brother he was an exception since he helped organize the event

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• October 17, 2023

An argument with his older brother a decade ago came back to haunt a 26-year-old Reddit OP. He was the responsible kind of teenager who held down a part-time job and managed his finances wisely.

OP helped his parents and older brother, Shane, financially once in a while. He also helped Shane plan his wedding to his fiancée, Natalie.

Shane and Natalie wanted a child-free wedding. Shane told OP he would make an exception for him since he helped organize the event.

Shane's best man, Natalie, and their parents were aware of the siblings' agreement. Two weeks before the big day, Shane told OP in passing that his invite was rescinded.

He said OP did have the honor of babysitting their younger relatives. OP was pissed off and highly emotional.

OP called Shane some select names. He insulted him by saying things "relating to his lack of testicular fortitude and overabundance of malice."

He told Shane he would not be anyone's babysitter. Shane and their parents offered OP £1000 to babysit, which infuriated him more.

Two days after their argument, Shane alternated between apologies and threats. He eventually caved in and asked OP to attend his wedding.

OP felt unwanted, so he declined his brother's invitation. OP didn't even look at his brother's wedding photos or participate in any conversations about the wedding.

That explosive argument set the tone of their relationship for the next decade

Shane and Natalie are getting divorced. They have two kids OP has never met.

Shane contacted OP recently. The 26-year-old suspects it's because he wants to move into his house after Natalie kicked him out of their home.

The hook? Shane wants OP to apologize to him before he introduces him to his children.

OP wants to tell Shane to stay away from him, but would it be the right move?

OP needs to think if a relationship with Shane after all these years would be a good addition to his life

A commenter with a similar relationship with their sibling gave OP sound advice. It does sound like Shane is still refusing to acknowledge the part he played in their argument.

If OP wants to meet Shane for his own peace of mind, then he should go into the meeting with realistic expectations

OP said no matter the outcome, he won't let Shane live with him. As for a relationship with his niece and nephew, he will ask Natalie first.

Even OP's overreaction and insults were understandable. Shane dangled a carrot and snatched it at the last possible minute.

OP did apologize to their parents who he later realized were simply caught in the crossfire

OP needs to admit that Shane has an ulterior motive to extend an olive branch to him right now. He needs a place to stay. He doesn't want a genuine connection with him.

After all the advice from helpful Redditors, OP decided not to reconnect with Shane for now

Shane, on the other hand, had different ideas. He showed up at OP's house. He tried to relinquish any responsibility for what happened 10 years ago.

OP told Shane to leave and has no plans to talk to him anytime soon. OP also informed their parents about what his brother did.

OP would have had to deal with endless drama if he allowed Shane back into his life. A person who can't admit when he is wrong is not someone you want around.

Shane has two kids, yet he is childishly clinging to the idea that he can't make mistakes. Even if his actions hurt anyone, then they must be overly sensitive to make him accountable for his actions.

Chelsi