Bride And Groom Are Considering Uninviting Maid Of Honor's Partners To The Wedding To Avoid Uncomfortable Questions

Her best friend/ maid of honor is in a polyamorous relationship with three partners. The groom was scared that people would ask a lot of questions.

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• December 5, 2023

Drama over their guest list erupted after a bride-to-be agreed to rescind the invitation of her maid of honor's partners. OP and her fiancé invited 250 guests to their wedding.

OP's maid of honor is her best friend, Marissa. She was the right choice because she enthusiastically helped OP with each step of her wedding planning.

Marissa is in a polyamorous relationship with Greg, Brandon, and Ace. OP admitted that she didn't fully "get" their relationship but can attest that her best friend and her partners were happy.

OP's fiancé worried about how his family would perceive Marissa's relationship during the wedding. Mike explained to OP that he loved Marissa, but he didn't want to spend their wedding day explaining what a polyamorous relationship was.

OP understood. She knew Mike's family had conservative beliefs and outdated opinions about the LGBTQIA+ community.

OP reserved spots for Marissa's three partners. Mike suggested that those spots be reallocated to his co-workers instead, while Marissa could attend the wedding alone.

He had an equal say about their wedding, so OP reluctantly agreed to Mike's suggestion. OP chickened out of telling Marissa about the changes she and Mike made to the guest list before the invitations were sent out.

Marissa called OP to ask why she didn't have plus three on her invitation. OP explained what she and Mike had discussed; all Marissa could say was, "Oh," before she ended the call.

One of Marissa's partners, Brandon, called soon after to ask OP to reconsider their invitation. He even promised that they wouldn't act like they were in a relationship during the wedding.

In the background, OP heard Greg, the partner Marissa's been with the longest, telling Brandon that he should tell OP to f*ck off.

OP told Brandon that their spots were given to her fiancé's colleagues. Brandon sounded dejected when he hung up.

Marissa sent OP a text that she wouldn't attend her wedding if her partners weren't present. Mike told OP that it wasn't his problem since it was too late for him to uninvite his co-workers.

OP told her fiancé that she would pay for the extra costs to invite Marissa's partners. Mike said that if OP wanted to spend their wedding day explaining Marissa's relationship then that was her choice. Their friends were split if OP acted like a jerk.

OP's choices showed Marissa and her partners that they didn't matter as long as OP got the dream wedding she wanted.

How would Marissa's relationship be brought up in someone else's wedding in the first place?

All they would know of her is that she was the maid of honor. If anyone was curious about who she is outside of the wedding, then that's a different private conversation, isn't it?

OP threw her best friend and her partners under the bus over the potential confusion of bigots. She wasn't a good friend to Marissa at that moment.

OP needs to ask herself how she so easily set Marissa aside after one conversation with her fiancé

At least a decent person would tell their best friend about the lack of plus guests on their wedding invitation.

If OP can't genuinely recognize that she acted like an a**hole to her friends, there is no way that her relationship with Marissa could survive this ordeal.

OP and Mike called Marissa after he read OP's post and the verdict given to her.

Marissa was happy to discuss the matter. OP and Mike apologized and invited her as well as her partners to the wedding.

They talked again when Ace got out of work, cleared the air, and had a few laughs over the Reddit post. They told Mike's parents about Marissa's polyamorous relationship with their consent.

They all agreed not to tell Mike's grandmother because she would undoubtedly ask questions all night. OP felt that the issue helped her and Mike learn how to better communicate with each other before they tied the knot.

That one comment was right, it was so jarring how quickly OP dropped Marissa over the threat of her wedding being ruined due to bigoted opinions. It shouldn't have taken a few thousand Reddit comments for her to realize how messed up her actions were.

Chelsi