Man Decides To Fund Nephew's University Education, Gets Accused Of "Breaking Up" Their Blended Family

"I am not related to her, her husband or her other kids"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• July 24, 2024

The process of starting a new blended family can present both opportunities and difficulties. Your children or the children of your new spouse might not be nearly as thrilled about the prospect of remarriage and starting a new family as you, as parents, are likely to be.

They will probably be apprehensive about the impending adjustments and how it may affect their bond with their biological parents. In addition, they'll be concerned about moving in with new step siblings, some of whom they might not even get along with or know well.

Certain kids could be resistant to changes, and when your new family doesn't operate the same way as your old one, you as a parent might get angry. In other words, blending families together is not so simple.

OP's elder sister passed away, leaving one son, "Jeff,” and her husband, “Scott.” They lived in the same city, so the OP was close to his nephew.

Since her death, the OP has stepped up his time with Jeff and continued to help him pursue enrichment in math and CS. Scott married "Jane,"  who brought her two daughters with her.

Later, they had a son together, and it has not gone well for Jeff. Jane dominates Scott and has pushed the “blended family” hard.

They wanted Jeff to go to a college nearby so he could bond with his siblings and help out at home, but they were in for a surprise.

The OP kicks off his story

Jane dominates Scott, and has pushed the “blended family” hard

Much of the money has been used to pay for a bigger house

OP's related to the son of the person whom he was closest to for much of his life

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

(1) I offered to pay for my nephew's university tuition and costs so he could go away to university against his father and step-mother's wishes, and when they gave him a very hard time about it, offered to let him move in with me for summers when he is out of school

(2) The result is that my nephew is leaving his nuclear family, so I might be accused of "breaking up" the family through my intervention.

And the comments from other Redditors roll in...

It sounds like Jane stole Jeff's inheritance

The OP is fulfilling the sister's wishes

They're trying to squash and diminish OP's nephew

The OP is a good uncle

Scott has failed miserably in protecting his son

He is the odd duck in the house

Don't threaten me with a good time

When a child turns 18, "breaking up the family" is meant to happen because they will venture out into the world to discover what life is like and how their education and talents translate to the real world. As near-ideal as it gets, many Redditors said the OP is doing a terrific job of matching Jeff with an education that fits both his aptitudes and goals.

Some also supported for Jeff to move in with the OP and only go to visit his father and stepfamily whenever he likes.

Maryjane