Woman Reconsiders Living With Boyfriend Who Wants Her To Pay Rent In His Fully Paid House

"I questioned why we couldn't just enter the house as equals, paying an equal share of the costs"

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• February 3, 2024

At a certain point in the relationship, the couple starts to consider living together. Although this is a great period, which implies that the couple is ready to take their relationship to the next level, it also carries a lot of questions and probably some misunderstandings.

Recently, a Reddit user found himself at this point of a relationship but had some dilemma, so he asked online for help. The OP and his boyfriend are planning to move into a house that the boyfriend is buying outright with his parents' financial assistance, without the mortgage.

The OP's boyfriend expressed a desire for the OP to feel a sense of ownership and partnership in the house, implying a joint endeavor. However, he clarified that his idea of the OP's contribution would be to cover all the household bills, effectively making the OP responsible for his share of the expenses.

This arrangement was proposed as an alternative to the OP paying 'rent' to live in the house, allowing the boyfriend to minimize his own outgoings. The OP questioned this arrangement, saying he desires equality in sharing the household costs but feels discomfort with the potential power inequality and the notion of paying the boyfriend 'rent'.

His boyfriend defended his perspective by saying that his parents' money should not fund the OP's living expenses. He also mentioned that the OP would still financially benefit compared to their current living situation.

Their conversation became a circle of misunderstandings and disagreements, culminating in the OP feeling uncertain about their living arrangements. But he also wonders if his hesitation to accept the boyfriend's terms was unreasonable and if it was perceived as trying to take advantage of the situation.

Here is the OP's dilemma:

OP said his boyfriend is buying a house for cash, and they plan to live together:

But the boyfriend told him he should cover all the bills instead of paying him rent:

The OP didn't like this idea, it made him feel like they weren't as equal as he said they would be:

He explained that his parents' money shouldn't cover the cost of his rent:

They couldn't understand each other, so the OP asked for unbiased opinions:

OP should reconsider moving in with him

OP's partner doesn't act like an adult.

It's like rent

One Redditor said it's a fair compromise

But the other one disagreed

They should discuss other details also before moving in together

A Redditor said it's a fair offer

A Redditor explained that the OP will never be a partner but a tenant without rights

Relationships can be so complicated sometimes. Even though the OP and his partner reached a new level of their relationship, they obviously need to sort some things out before they start living together.

Most Redditors agreed that the OP is not in the wrong for expecting to share utilities equally, but some said that it's a fair offer. Anyway, the OP should discuss it further with their partner.

Filip