Frustrated Girlfriend Crafts A Bright Childish Chore Chart For Her Boyfriend After Exhausting Every Other Means To Remind Him Of His Share Of Household Tasks

He has ADHD. He said alarms and reminders added unnecessary pressure.

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• July 20, 2023

A 20-year-old just realized how crucial moving in with your partner is for a relationship. You can't claim to know your significant other until you have shared a home with them.

The OP's 23-year-old boyfriend recently moved in with her. The division of chores was one of the first things they tackled as soon as he moved in.

OP gave him the opportunity to pick out the chores he liked to do while she took on what was left. He hasn't been holding up his end of their deal.

He has ADHD, and following through with tasks is a little more difficult for him. OP understands his condition and empathizes with him up to a certain point.

Her frustration over his delayed or forgotten chores is undeniable. Deep breaths are necessary when she comes home from work at 8 PM only to realize her boyfriend hasn't cooked or bought any groceries.

She can't even do her laundry in peace because her boyfriend forgot the dirty clothes he left in the machine to soak four days ago. Breakfast went from the most important meal of the day to the most skipped meal of the day because he neglected to put the milk back inside the fridge.

Doing his chores or finishing the half-assed one became a daily part of OP's routine. She's getting tired of picking up after him.

She asked him to make reminders on his phone but he said they add unnecessary pressure

So, OP made him a child-approved chore chart complete with a space for smiley faces. He didn't like it one bit and accused her of humiliating him.

OP said the chart is a last resort. Her other suggestions didn't work and accomplishing his unfinished tasks for him just made him angry. OP basically ran out of options.

Was the chart ableist like one commenter alluded to?

OP said the list was simply the last trick in her hat. She's exhausted every other option and nothing worked for her boyfriend.

Some sympathized with OP's boyfriend and understood why he felt humiliated by the brightly colored chore chart

OP meant for the chart to be childish because of her boyfriend's continuous dependence on her to even start his chores

If he shows no willingness to manage his ADHD, then OP needs to rethink her future with him

He was probably mortified that OP had to do that for him. Instead of looking inwards, he lashed out and blamed her for how he felt.

His pride and ego are apparently greater than becoming a considerate partner

The fact that he moved in with her and basically became a child for OP to look after is enough reason for him to feel embarrassed

He shuts down every suggestion OP gives. At some point, she has to realize that he just doesn't want to do the work.

He's motivated to complete his tasks at work. Which means he found a strategy to follow through. Where is that initiative at home?

I wonder how he lived before he moved in with OP

If OP made a grey and adult-looking chore chart, would he have reacted differently?

I was taken aback when someone suggested rewarding him with sex to motivate him to do his chart

OP has been an incredible partner to her boyfriend so far. She acknowledged how his ADHD affected his day-to-day life.

She attempted to help him find a workaround or a strategy to improve his executive functioning skills. OP put his needs above hers; it's time to prioritize herself.

Chelsi