Man Gets Called Out For Belittling Sister By Insisting Her Husband Shouldn't Help With Night Feedings Due To Work Schedule

"She said I was belittling her experience and acting like I was a better parent."

Sophia

• Published in Interesting
• May 17, 2024

Family dynamics can get tricky when it comes to sharing advice, especially with something as personal as parenting. In this story, a well-meaning sibling tries to help his sister navigate those exhausting newborn nights, sharing what worked in his own household.

He believed offering practical tips, like letting her husband take the evening shift so she could get some rest, would be helpful. However, his sister didn't take it that way.

She felt misunderstood and criticized, particularly because she had given birth and felt her needs weren't acknowledged. She was seeking support, but the advice she received seemed to undermine her feelings and minimize her challenges.

Being told that her husband shouldn't be expected to pitch in at night because of his job was a sore spot, as she felt her own effort as a stay-at-home parent wasn't recognized. Tensions ran high when her brother offered to help by watching her daughter, which only added to her frustration.

The situation highlights how even well-intentioned advice can miss the mark if it doesn't acknowledge the other person's perspective. In the end, listening with empathy and understanding the unique circumstances each family faces is crucial to offering the right kind of support.

Just take a look at what happened here...

OP and their husband had a son via surrogacy, and soon after, their husband's sister gave birth to their niece.

OP and their sister's lives are parallel: their husbands work 9 to 5 with commutes, one is a stay-at-home mom, while the other freelances from home.

After their son was born, they split night shifts for two weeks. Then, OP took over weeknights while he managed mornings and weekends.

With their husband's early work schedule, it made sense for them to handle weeknights in their parenting arrangement.

At four months, they've moved past night feeds, but OP misses the bonding. Their sister, on the other hand, still struggles in the newborn stage.

OP's sister struggles with night feeds and seeks advice from them.

OP suggested their sister let her partner handle evenings (6-9 pm) so she can rest early. However, their sister insisted on her partner sharing night feedings.

OP warned about the risk of her husband falling asleep during his morning commute and offered to watch her daughter so she could rest.

She felt belittled, saying OP couldn't understand because they hadn't been pregnant, and offering to watch their niece felt insulting.

OP seeks perspective on unintentionally offending their sister and asks if they're the jerk.

OP clarifies their gender as male in response to comments assuming otherwise.

OP apologized to their sister for past comments, aiming to listen more. They want better for their sister and niece, recognizing their husband's greater parenting role.

OP activated POO mode, so they're disengaging to avoid bothering mods. They appreciate the feedback and knowledge shared.

Scroll down to see what people had to say...

Different situations, especially post-birth recovery. Details like C-sections or natural births? They count.

PPD's no joke, and winning at mommying? That's not a competition she wants to enter. Keep sisterhood classy, not sassy.

Nighttime teamwork isn't a foreign concept; it's just not her strong suit. Time to brush up on support skills, sis.

Stop comparing baby notes; it's not a sibling rivalry. Support her journey; it's called sisterhood, not sisterhood of the parenting police.

Plot twist: It's not just the plot that thickened. Grab some popcorn, folks; this drama just got a gender-bender twist.

YTA, but congrats on the gold star for mansplaining; it's like comparing apples to orangutans while his sister's stuck in a hormone hurricane.

He should apologize to his sister and, if he's close with her husband, maybe drop a hint about upping his parenting game.

He's probably planning a victory lap for his baby's first steps too. Classic YTA move.

In the end, navigating family advice is like assembling IKEA furniture without instructions—you think you're helping, but sometimes you're just screwing things up. The real trick is learning that one size doesn't fit all, and empathy is the Allen wrench that holds everything together.

Comment down your thoughts, or share this article for all your family and friends to see!

Sophia